


When demigods text

by behind_lines_48



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Annabeth Chase & Piper McLean Friendship, Bromance, Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Family Bonding, Jason Grace & Percy Jackson Bromance, Jason Grace is a mom, Jason is a Dork, Leo isn't Dead, M/M, Not Really Canon Compliant, Other, Past Jason Grace/Piper McLean, Percy Jackson is a Dork, Possible Spoilers, Sibling Bonding, Texting, The story gets better in future chapters I swear, What Have I Done, bi characters, but not really, chat, chat fic, has the events of canon but some stuff is mixed up, i haven't read kane chronicles, idk how to spell that lmao, jason will never die, magnus and alex aren't dating yet, some plot?, texting fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 20,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27185980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/behind_lines_48/pseuds/behind_lines_48
Summary: There is a way for demigods to chat! What happens when you put demigods and phones together? Well lets see.Hi! Please refrain from posting my work on other sites without my permission. If you came from another site to read this, alert me and/or report/ask them to take it down. Thanks!
Relationships: Annabeth Chase & Piper McLean, Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson) & Magnus Chase, Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Apollo & Meg McCaffrey, Apollo & Will Solace, Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang, Jason Grace & Percy Jackson, Jason Grace & Thalia Grace, Jason Grace/Piper McLean, Magnus Chase/Alex Fierro, Nico di Angelo & Jason Grace & Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo & Jason Grace & Thalia Grace & Percy Jackson & Hazel Levesque, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 134
Kudos: 217





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay soooooo this is going to be compliant with the books but the timeline is off just bear with me please! just a fun texting fic. for the sake of the fun in the story the demigods are all at camp, new rome, or (only in thalia's case) with the hunt. thanks!

_Seachild added wisegirl, blondchild, pinechild, deathchild, pepper, ourchild, transformer, sunnyboy, and earthgod to PERCYS CHILDREN_

PERCYS CHILDREN

Saturday @ 9:21

Seachild: heyyyyyyy

Deathchild: no

Pepper: percys children?

Seachild: yes and yes

_Wisegirl changed the name to Percy’s children_

Wisegirl: If you are going to name the chat whatever that is, at least use punctuation please.

Pinechild: glad to be included, but percy what in the everloving fuck are these names 

Seachild: oh thals im hurt :( these are names that give off our flares!

Pepper: pepper.

Blondchild: ay bro

Seachild: bro! 

Blondchild: what’s up bro

Seachild: not much bro. your girlfriend is yelling at me tho she’s loud. kinda like a pepper you know bite a piece and you regret it

Seachild: oh oops i shouldnt have said that 

Seachild: help a bro out?

Blondchild: nope that’s your fault

Seachild: damn bro :(

Seachild: Annabeth helppppp

Wisegirl: Use proper grammar.

Seachild: :(

Pinechild: BAHAHAHA

Pepper: we’re good now 

Sunnyboy: okay one, wow what original names. two, why did i hear piper screaming about peppers. three, what am i doing here?

Wisegirl: Why does no one capitalize! At least Will uses punctuation.

Sunnyboy: thanks i think?

Pepper: Percy thought it was funny to name me pepper

Deathchild: i mean...

Pepper: no nico

Deathchild: fine. whats with the child names

Seachild: we are the forbidden children :)

Seachild: and will you are here because you are \\(._.)/

Deathchild: wtf is that 

Seachild: my best child

Ourchild: ...

Pepper: ooo Hazel

Seachild: next to hazel

Ourchild: Percy I’m a lot older than you

Seachild: Shush that’s not important 

Earthgod: Wow...

Pinechild: ayyy grover

Earthgod: Hi Thalia! 

Wisegirl: So other than the fact that this is blowing up my phone, what is the purpose?

Seachild: to talk together! since hazel and frank are in cali it’s the best way to connect 

Blondchild: speaking of frank where is he?

Ourchild: He’s asleep. Time zones

Blondchild: ah

Blondchild: ANYWAYS you guys won’t believe it but like, i’m a demigod, you know, half mortal half god

Pinechild: wow incredible.

Blondchild: i know :) 

_Pinechild changed Blondchild to Blindchild_

Blindchild: ...

Deathchild: HZKJSJHSH

Seachild: oop-

Blindchild: sis

Blindchild: i thought we said no talking about my glasses

Pinechild: nerd

Pinechild: i like our names

Seachild: it’s okay Jay

Seachild: it still works

Blindchild: PERCY

Blindchild: you wound me :(

Seachild: wait-

Blindchild: we are no longer bros 

Wisegirl: ...

Pepper: did i just see a bro divorce 

Seachild: WAIT JASON

Blindchild: now we are just cousins

Sunnyboy: dang

Deathchild: BAHAHA

Seachild: :( 

Seachild: ;-;

Deathchild: LMAO 

Seachild: nico i guess that means you have to step into jays position 

Blindchild: no i'm his favorite

Deathchild: ...

Deathchild: WILL

Sunnyboy: i have been summoned

Sunnyboy: ...oh

Sunnyboy: guys you can't have nico he's mine

Seachild: bros are different than boyfriends :) 

Pinechild: mhm so you're saying you two don't flirt all the time

Seachild: nope. just bros being bros

Blindchild: ex bros being bros

Seachild: :(

Wisegirl: You're saying that lying on Jason's lap while you text on the chat about your "bro break-up" is being ex-bros? 

Pepper: you guys are weird. annie lets get outta here 

Wisegirl: Annie? 

Pepper: yup if you need us we'll be in the Athena cabin

Sunnyboy: ...

Sunnyboy: guys stop texting nico he chucked his phone across his cabin already

Sunnyboy: NO I DIDNT WE ARE IN THE INFIRMARY NOT IN MY CABIN

Sunnyboy: HAHA I JUST STOLE WILL'S PHONE 

Blindchild: ...

Blindchild: Perce?

Seachild: mhm

Blindchild: truce?

Seachild: yup

Deathchild: DAMMIT WILL

Sunnyboy: what?

Pinechild: haha busted too bad i'm not at camp to see this 

Sunnyboy: what?

Sunnyboy: oh- 

Sunnyboy: damn 

Eathgod: I think you mean dam

Pinechild: AYYYYY 

Ourchild: Wait Will what happened

Sunnyboy: ...percy and jason are in nico's cabin now because i said we were in his cabin and it implied we were alone. anyways now they are scowling at me while we play mario kart.

Ourchild: Well then I'm glad I live across the country

Ourchild: wait-

Ourchild: Please don't come here

Seachild: :)

Pinechild: well that's intimidating 

Deathchild: ANNABETH PIPER HELP

Deathchild: get your boyfriends out of my cabinnnnnnn

Deathchild: they are sitting on my bed watching us

Blindchild: we are simply making sure that you don't do anything

Sunnyboy: dude you do know i'm a literal medic right? 

Blindchild: and?

Deathchild: and he's not dumb 

Pepper: oop we missed our cue

Wisegirl: Percy we talked about this.

Wisegirl: You can't follow Nico around when he's alone with Will.

Pepper: Same for you Jace 

Seachild: but annabethhhh

Deathchild: Did someone throw a party in my cabin and not invite me? heck invite the whole camp!

Ourchild: Are they all in there with you?

Deathchild: yes

Ourchild: Yikes

Deathchild: ik

Sunnyboy: ...remind me why you have a protection squad and i'm at the top of the list to look out for

Deathchild: i wish i knew

Sunnyboy: i feel threatened 

Pinechild: dam that's tough. are they just sitting watching you still

Deathchild: no they joined the game

Pinechild: all four?

Deathchild: yes they took over the system

Deathchild: still watching us though

Deathchild: this is all your fault will

Sunnyboy: oops?

Deathchild: come on we can go while they're distracted

Ourchild: Can't they just read the texts?

Pinechild: when they play video games they get in deep

Pinechild: they'll read them later

Transformer: Hi?

Ourchild: Hi Frank!

Transformer: Hi! What's happening?

Ourchild: Percy made a group chat and people talked then Will said that Nico threw his phone and Jason and Percy went to spy on him

Deathchild: I wouldn't say "spy" more of "be extremely annoying" and "barge into my cabin and demand that i get off of Will's lap" 

Ourchild: icanhaha.jpeg

Deathchild: ...i hate you

Ourchild: ;)

Sunnyboy: probably gonna be killed by the most powerful demigods alive lmao

Deathchild: i'll just tell dad to unkill you

Sunnyboy: aw you'd do that for me?

Deathchild: ;) 

Seachild: no

Sunnyboy: uhhh

Seachild: nico

Wisegirl: Told you it was a bad idea

Seachild: nico where are you

Deathchild: away with will :)

Blindchild: will where are you

Deathchild: i took his phone :)

Pepper: BAHAHA I LOVE THIS

Wisegirl: Our boyfriends are stalking their godly cousin...

Pepper: EXACTLY LMAO

Deathchild: FUCK

Sunnyboy: please annabeth and piper

Pinechild: ...

Sunnyboy: they found us

Pepper: HSKDHSKDJHDJKS 

Deathchild: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Deathchild: WE CAN SEE YOU STOP HIDING BEHIND THE TREE 

Deathchild: HOW DID YOU EVEN FIND US WE ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF CAMP

Blindchild: tracker

Deathchild: WHAT THE FUCK

Deathchild: TAKE MY PHONE

Sunnyboy: ...nico just threw his phone at them and percy caught it. now we are somewhere i'm not allowed to say for my safety

Sunnyboy: also nico says "i hate you" but i changed it to he "strongly dislikes what you are doing to him and wishes you to stop because he doesn't want me to die"

Sunnyboy: "that's close enough. oh my gods will i'm fourteen i don't need babysitters watching me. it's not like you'd even do anything wrong!" aw "what do they think we'll do anyways. not like we could get pregnant" yeah that would be weird "and it's not even like- will why are you typing" so like, i'm dead fyi but just so you know we are fine

Seachild: dammit we were so close

Blindchild: i know bro i know

Seachild: :0 are we bros again?

Blindchild: i mean, if you'll take me back

Seachild: always bro

Blindchild: thanks bro

Wisegirl: ...

Pepper: ...

Pinechild: i just want to know why and how percy and jason got a tracker on nico's phone

Seachild: because nico is our child 2.0 and we need to make sure he stays a child?

Sunnyboy: nico just broke out in laughter. i'm not dead btw but he says that if you take the tracker off his phone he will talk to you again

Blindchild: fine

Seachild: fine

Wisegirl: No more trackers Percy

Seachild: :(

Pepper: Jace please tell me there are no other trackers

Blindchild: nope no more trackers haha

Pepper: ...are you tracking all of our phones?

Seachild: no? 

Wisegirl: How are you so bad at lying through text 

Seachild: it's a gift

Blindchild changed user to Blondchild


	2. Chapter 2

_PERCYS CHILDREN changed to Guess What by Mcshizzle_

_Mcshizzle added Mcshizzle to Guess What at 4:35 pm_

Guess What  
Sunday @ 4:35

Mcshizzle: HEY GUYS 

Pepper: who...

Pepper: wait oh my gods 

Seachild: Leo? 

Blondchild: oh my gods

Wisegirl: Leo

Ourchild: That can't be Leo. I felt him die

Deathchild: something's wrong guys i feel weird 

Deathchild: wait

Deathchild: what the hades 

Transformer: There was no body found though

Blondchild: is this a prank? if it is it's not funny 

Mcshizzle: Look in the sky 

Pepper: is that a dragon? 

Blondchild: OH MY GODS YOU 

Mcshizzle: ah shit it's a stampede

Ourchild: THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY? YOU DIED LEO. WE BURNED YOUR SHROUD 

Transformer: LEO OH MY GODS IS IT YOU

Ourchild: SOMEONE ANSWER US 

Seachild: everyone is waiting in line to punch leo. turns out he cheated death and he brought calypso with him like the calypso. also jason is yelling at him... like screaming at him

Seachild: and now hes crying and hugging him

Seachild: looks like leos being crushed. bet his arms are sore from the amount of punches hes getting

Transformer: He'll be in for one heck of a welcome when he gets back. Given he doesn't die again there.

Seachild: nah we'll leave him to deal with the wrath of the romans have fun

Mcshizzle: fuck my body hurts

Blondchild: what the hades leo

Mcshizzle: didn't you just yell at me

Mcshizzle: i'm here! wassup mi familia i didn't stay dead! i also brought a friend!

Pepper: leo wtf 

Ourchild: Leo you will be coming to camp and I swear to the gods you will be sorry

Mcshizzle: ... im being threatened?

Deathchild: you think? 

Mcshizzle: :) 

Wisegirl: Why don't you take things seriously.

Mcshizzle: cause lifes no fun like that

Wisegirl: Because life is not fun like that*

Mcshizzle: ...

Mcshizzle: anyways whys apollo here

Mcshizzle: and y he look like that

Sunnyboy: leo? i think you should come to the infirmary 

Sunnyboy: you took some hard hits

Deathchild: will come and get your dad im done babysitting

Seachild: haha will you made him babysit your dad

Deathchild: and meg

Sunnyboy: what dad almost died i've got to make sure he doesn't die while i can

Sunnyboy: but i've got shifts to cover so i left him with nico

Mcshizzle: so hes mortal now

Mcshizzle: thats gotta suck 

Mcshizzle: also im fine just sore

Deathchild: WILL 

Deathchild: GET YOUR DAD I SWEAR I CANNOT HEAR ANOTHER HIKU PLEASE

Sunnyboy: haiku* 

Wisegirl: haiku*

Pepper: hiku 

Seachild: hiku

Mcshizzle: hiku

Ourchild: hiku

Deathchild: wtf

Blondchild: haiku*

Transformer: ...

Pinechild: HIKU LMAO

Pinechild: also hi leo

Earthgod: hiku 

Deathchild: hello! we have successfully stolen nico's phone! will your boyfriend is fun but heejkfllnjvf.ks4u8rvh;a

Deathchild: ljgyftd43excvb ;8 vbh,vsxcv,

Deathchild: HI LOSERS IM MEG

Deathchild: oops capitalization anywayyyyy lester is annoying 

Seachild: did you steal nico's phone?

Deathchild: i made lester do it

Deathchild: i can control him :) 

Pepper: i like you 

Deathchild: :) 

Sunnyboy: meg tell my dad to stop getting on my boyfriend's bad side 

Mcshizzle: NICO GOT A BOYFRIEND 

Mcshizzle: awww little deathboy is all grown up 

Blondchild: :( yup 

Deathchild: he says not to blame him you left nico in charge 

Deathchild: he also said its my fault but it isnt totally. he wanted to i just told him to do it

Deathchild: here you talk to him

Sunnyboy: DAD 

Deathchild: yes?

Sunnyboy: I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR 30 MINUTES

Deathchild: i'll tell you later

Deathchid: it is hard to text and run

Deathchild: stupid mortal self

Sunnyboy: dad wtf

Blondchild: ... did you make a haiku while running from nico

Seachild: how

Seachild: why

Pepper: don't question it

Seachild: BAHAHAH MEG AND APOLLO ARE RUNNING FROM NICO THEY JUST PASSED MY CABIN

Seachild: nicoismad.jpeg

Wisegirl: Are they okay...

Pinechild: ooo

Pinechild: can't really talk to apollo lmao so bye

Deathchild: i resent that photo 

Deathchild: tell my sis i say hi

Pinechild: again i can't talk to you

Pinechild: i was never here

Deathchild: :( 

Deathchild: UNTIL NEXT TIJDhlihgafu

Deathchild: will?

Sunnyboy: yes? 

Deathchild: your dad and meg are locked in my cabin until further notice

Deathchild: a skeleton guard is watching them

Deathchild: and i now hold a deep loathing for children

Seachild: isnt he like, my age right now

Transformer: Wait, apollo is seventeen? 

Seachild: yeah i had to bring him to camp. he became mortal

Seachild: didn't we tell you guys? 

Ourchild: ... No

Seachild: oh oops

Deathchild: he's a child now idc what age he is

Sunnyboy: i get off in a minute

Mcshzzle: so an ex god stole their sons boyfriends phone because a child told him to and they got hunted down and now are locked away and being guarded in the hades cabin by a skeleton 

Mcshizzle: wow what else is new 

Wisegirl: Well the world is in danger again 

Mcshizzle: is that really new though

Wisegirl: True true

Wisegirl: My cousin died but he's okay

Blondchild: huh?

Wisegirl: My cousin died

Wisegirl: I went out to find him with my uncle but it turned out he died. Then I found him and he's doing okay. Just going through some demigod stuff.

Wisegirl: Also the Norse myths are real. He's an einherjar in Valhalla. A dead warrior and stuff son of Frey. 

Blondchild: ...so he's dead

Mcshizzle: wait. he's dead and alive? aw wish i was a norse demigod 

Wisegirl: He's just dead.

Seachild: i'm not even surprised at this point

Pepper: same tbh

Earthgod: Enlightening conversation here

Seachild: ayyy g man whattup

Earthgod: The sky

Seachild: ...i expected more from you

Seachild: you disappoint me

Earthgod: :) 

Earthgod: Perce, what do you think I'm doing

Seachild: ...riiiiiiiiiiiight plant stuff

Earthgod: I don't know if that's offensive or it's just Percy

Pinechild: probably just percy

Wisegirl: Just Percy

Deathchild: wills 'talking' to apollo

Deathchild: bahaha

Deathchild: fatherwill.jpeg 

Pepper: imagine being yelled at by your kid

Pepper: couldn't be me

Blondchild: pipes, you know if any of us yelled at our godly parents we'd die right? also none of us have kids

Seachild: not me :)

Seachild: dad and i are cool

Blondchild: ... fine if any of us besides percy yelled at our godly parents we'd die

Pinechild: probably not die, just be electrocuted or something

Ourchild: Not die but be injured probably

Pepper: the gods love us :) 

Wisegirl: Some of us

Wisegirl: Mom hates Percy

Seachild: a lot of gods hate me :( 

Deathchild: it's not yelling... just very stern talking

Deathchild: whats funny is that will is still younger 

Deathchild: meg and i are watching from my cabin

Deathchild: shes cool now

Blondchild: you did a full 180 

Deathchild: well i mean i still dont like kids but she said sorry

Pepper: then why is apollo still getting yelled at

Deathchild: because he tried to paint a picture of himself on the back of the apollo cabin and managed to compose multiple poems of lester to "make him more interesting" to the point where i can't find anymore pencils or paper cause he used them all

Deathchild: ok they are coming in lol

Sunnyboy: :) 

Pepper: ...will you're scary 

Seachild: agreed

Sunnyboy: what was it you said percy? it's a gift 

Seachild: :)

Deathchild: BAHAHA

Transformer: we are missing out :(

Seachild: visit usssssss

Ourchild: We might be able to

Transformer: Wait we can?

Ourchild: I can check with reyna or something it'll be fun 

Seachild: awesomeeeeee

Deathchild: yesss

Ourchild: SHE SAID YES 

Seachild: YESSSSS

Transformer: YES

Wisegirl: Yay!

Pepper: YAYYY

Mcshizzle: cant wait to see you guys LOL now someone get me out of here if not get me out at least bring snacks 

Blondchild: AWESOME

Pepper: wait where are you? 

Mcshizzle: held captive

Blondchild: he's not being held captive

Mcshizzle: yes i am this dude has no food in his cabin

Mcshizzle: how does he have no food in his cabin

Blondchild: dude we are playing video games how is that being held captive

Mcshizzle: you wont let me get foooood 

Pepper: be there in a sec i've got snacks

Mcshizzle: my savior 

Mcshizzle: PARTY IN JASON'S CABIN 

Blondchild: ...fine 

Seachild: AYYYYY

Wisegirl: Percy you have work to do

Seachild: i'll do it later :) come on 

Wisegirl: Fine. We'll be there in a minute

Deathchild: be there in a minute

Deathchild: will, apollo, and meg are in the middle of cleaning my cabin :)

Ourchild: HAHA

Ourchild: Ooo

Ourchild: I never clean our cabin

Deathchild: there is dirt, seeds, paper, and flowers everywhere

Deathchild: meg tried to start a garden to see if flowers could grow in "the darkness of the hades cabin"

Deathchild: in short yes you can but they all turned out black and gold 

Seachild: wow

Seachild: how absolutely not needed but super cool 

Deathchild: dont worry though. apollo and meg aren't coming with us

Deathchild: i think meg is taking him to the strawberry fields 

Sunnyboy: i didn't tell him where we were going anyways 

Sunnyboy: he doesnt need to know

Pepper: ooo will's keeping secrets from his dadddd

Sunnyboy: ...

Sunnyboy: would you want your mom following you around 24/7 in teenage form?

Pepper: true

Pepper: hurry up though we've only got so many snacks before leo eats them all

Mcshizzle: hey!

Blondchild: you've eaten seven slices of pizza, two bowls of chips, and three cans of soda but who's counting

Sunnyboy: leo that isn't healthy

Sunnyboy: why nothing like fruit? fruit is good. 

Mcshizzle: shush doctor boy i deserve my food

Deathchild: this is what i live with

Sunnyboy: :) 

Seachild: live with?

Deathchild: not like that ahhhhh

Seachild: :) i'll be checking in later

Sunnyboy: leo you are no longer the one being attacked

Mcshizzle: BAHAHAHA sweet

Transformer: Hazel says to be nice to Nico and Will

Transformer: Also we will be there on Tuesday :)

Seachild: great! we'll tell chiron


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's payback time

Private conversation  
Sunday @ 8:12

Deathchild: piper

Pepper: whattup 

Deathchild: is jason there?

Pepper: nope. i'm in the aphrodite cabin... why?

Deathchild: promise you wont tell anyone?

Pepper: ooo secrets

Pepper: come on you know i wont tell

Pepper: i'm great with secrets

Pepper: i didn't tell will you liked him did i?

Deathchild: ...yes you did

Pepper: okay only because you were both pinning after each other for agesssss

Pepper: come on what was i supposed to do!

Deathchild: ...

Deathchild: it was only two weeks

Pepper: oh nico

Pepper: so young and naive

Deathchild: wait

Deathchild: no we'll talk about that later

Pepper: okay what's up

Deathchild: feel like pranking your bf?

Pepper: oh my gods is this to get back at the whole tracker thing??

Deathchild: possibly

Pepper: percy too?

Deathchild: yup

Pepper: i'm so in 

Pepper: i can get back at him for this name

Deathchild: you can always change it u know

Pepper: ...i'm kinda used to it though?

Deathchild: ... 

Deathchild: wowwwww

Pepper: don't tell percy

Deathchild: i would never dream of giving him that satisfaction 

Pepper: :) 

Pepper: i'll come to your cabin in a second should i bring annabwth

Pepper: annabeth* 

Deathchild: haha annabwth

Deathchild: sure gotta have some brains

Pepper: hey >:(

Deathchild: she handles the logic of everything you come up with ideas

Pepper: okay true true

Pepper: we'll try to sneak over without being killed or spotted 

Pepper: good thing the boys stayed at jason's cabin

Pepper: i think leo is also there we can get back at him for dying

Pepper: why did you and will leave anyways?

Pepper: ...

Pepper: wait

Deathchild: NO WE DIDNT DO ANYTHING GODS

Deathchild: but just dont tell percy and jason hes here with me pls

Deathchild: i dont think they noticed we left together

Deathchild: they will kill him

Deathchild: i like my boyfriend alive

Pepper: noted ;) 

Deathchild: ; / ) 

Pepper: ...did you just kill my wink face 

Deathchild :) 

Pepper: : / )

Deathchild: that's not fair

Deathchild: only i can do that

Pepper: :)

Deathchild: why

Pepper: WE ARE HERE OPEN THE DOOR AND BE DECENT

Deathchild: wtf

Deatchild: i need friends my own age

Pepper: dude your like 80 and 14 at the same time

Deathchild: exactly

Pepper: OPEN THE DOOOOOOOOR

Deathchild: you said to get decent

Pepper: o_0

Deathchild: just kidding :)

Pepper: maybe jay and percy's idea isn't so bad....

Deathchild: are you in or not?

Pepper: NOOOOOOOO IM IN 

Pepper: but annie's laughing at meeeee

Pepper: pls?

Deachchild: the door is unlocked like always we have no locks

Pepper: you jam it shut half the time

Deathchild: yeah half the time when i dont want company

Deathchild: cause you guys make it your life goal to annoy me

Pepper: that we do

Pepper: ILY THOUGH

Deathchild: ...

Deathchild: are you gonna come in or not?

Pepper: yeah yeah 

Guess What  
Sunday @ 9:47

Seachild: guys?

Blondchild: wtf are you doing

Ourchild: language 

Blondchild: OOPS

Blondchild: wt(heck) are you doing

Mcshizzle: where did my food go! 

Pepper: wut do u mean

Seachild: we were playing video games and then stuff just started dissapearing

Wisegirl: disappearing*

Seachild: ANNABETH I MIGHT DIE

Wisegirl: shame that would be

Seachild: hold up that's not annabeth

Wisegirl: dammit

Seachild: she uses caps 

Mcshizzle: BAHAHA 

Wisegirl: SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE CAPS ON AND I DON'T TEXT WITH CAPS

Wisegirl: it's too hard being annabeth

Wisegirl: but at least i can spell

Seachild: low blow

Seachild: but who are you then

Wisegirl: the one and only amazing, incredible, top of the lineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Pepper: ME!

Pepper: she has no lock on her phone

Pepper: you'd think she would but nooooo

Wisegirl: Huh

Wisegirl: Pipes you suck

Blondchild: GUYS HELP

Blondchild: THERES sOMEthING OuTSIde

Deathchild: THERES sOMEthING OuTSIde lmao

Deathchild: ...wait there is

Deathchild: *gasp*

Blondchild: SEE

Seachild: WERE GONNA DIEEEEEEEE

Blondchild: wait is that my stuff

Blondchild: WHY IS MY STUFF A GIANT MONSTER 

Blondchild: WTFFF

Ourchild: :(

Blondchild: i have a right to swear 

Mcshizzle: qué diablos está pasando ahhhhhhhh

Seachild: i dont know what that means but HOLY HECK IT IS IN HERE

Wisegirl: hdjkhflk.jpeg

Pinechild: ...why are you and piper laughing

Pepper: :)

Earthgod: what was that

Earthgod: i heard people yelling 

Pepper: BAHAHA

Pepper: JHDJhskDJSKHFDJSK

Earthgod: ahhhh i see now

Earthgod: poor them

Deathchild: and that my friends is why you don't get on my bad side

Sunnyboy: :D 

Seachild: again wills scary

Seachild: :( 

Transformer: What happened??

Deathchild: you remember the events of yesterday?

Mcshizzle: NO

Mcshizzle: I WAS A PART OF NOTHING

Deathchild: you died this was fair

Deathchild: anyways percy and jason followed me and will around and tracked my phone

Deathchild: SOOO i decided to get back at them with my dear friends that just so happen to be their girlfriends

Deatchild: they make sure the boys are distracted so i can shadow travel into the zeus cabin to steal jasons stuff and bring it back to my cabin where we pile it on will and bam instant monster

Deathchild: piper's idea 

Deathchild: he played the part well

Sunnyboy: what can i say? acting is a natural talent

Sunnyboy: dont tell dad i can act

Sunnyboy: please

Blondchild: i hate you all

Blondchild: and you better put my stuff back

Mcshizzle: AND GET ME MORE FOOD

Sunnyboy: on it

Mcshizzle: NOT THAT HEALTHY STUFF 

Mcshizzle: NOOOOOOOOO

Wisegirl: :)

Seachild: :( 

Seachild: jay is now my bestfriend

Transformer: :(

Seachild: who is with me now

Seachild: and not across the country

Transformer: :)

Blondchild: HA 

Transformer: Mean you have leo

Blondchild: leo has food

Mcshizzle: not anymore

Mcshizzle: will left me this monstrosity 

Mcshizzle: ew.jpeg

Pepper: how dare you 

Mcshizzle: hey its not only peppers! 

Mcshizzle: its all fruits and vegetables :( 

Mcshizzle: but you see, peppers and bell peppers are two different things

Mcshizzle: bell peppers aren't even hot

Sunnyboy: but they are good for you

Mcshizzle: dude you just dressed up like a monster to scare us i dont need to listen to you

Sunnyboy: you will next time you get in the infirmary for health related reasons

Mcshizzle: NOOOOOOO

Pinechild: i love this chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow a chapter posted in the morning? 0.0 amazing!
> 
> if there are spelling mistakes im sorry i cant see correctly without my glasses (getting them fixed)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy has a late-night thought

_Seachild changed Guess What to HELP_

HELP  
Monday @ 2:12 am

Seachild: okay guys? 

Seachild: i know it's late and stuff but...

Seachild: bear with me

Seachild: you know how like, they always say don't think about us all being related and stuff?

Wisegirl: pcy slepp

Pepper: you know its a bad time when annabeth can't spell

Wisegirl: fu

Seachild: no listen listen

Seachild: i knowwww godly blood doesn't count

Seachild: but think about it

Seachild: if it did then me, jason, nico, hazel, and thalia would all be cousins

Seachild: and that means jason and thalia are your aunt and uncle 

Deathchild: i-

Deathchild: get that out of my head now

Pepper: well good thing my mom came from the ocean 

Seachild: incest 

Pepper: o_0 

Pepper: do you even remember who are parents ARE

Pepper: they had kids WITH EACH OTHER 

Pepper: GODLY BLOOD DOESN'T COUNTTTT

Seachild: :)

Mcshizzle: wtf

Mcshizzle: why you do that 

Mcshizzle: good thing i'm asexual hehe

Pepper: mood lmao

Mcshizzle: LMAO

Pinechild: hello my children :) 

Pinechild: i get to be the cool aunt 

Pinechild: jason's the boring uncle who disappears half the time

Blondchild: thalia you're the one who is literally in the middle of nowhere with artemis

Pinechild: and somehow i still can make it to thanksgiving dinner :) 

Blondchild: you suck

Blondchild: also percy, we all love you but why do you do this to us

Seachild: because when i tell this to annabeth she tells me to shut up

Wisegirl: Because you tell me this at THREE AM

Seachild: ily :( 

Wisegirl: ily but sleep

Wisegirl: or else he gets tired and starts to make puddles follow him 

Wisegirl: i've had to steal piper's rain boots because mine got soaked when he did an all-nighter for studying

WIsegirl: :) sleep

Seachild: first off, not my fault i needed a good grade AND I GOT IT 

Seachild: also i think best at night

Deathchild: but now Thalia has become in charge of half the people here 

Seachild: not half... just will, leo, piper, and annabeth

Pinechild: >:) 

Pinechild: bwahaha 

Deathchild: ew im dating my cousin's nephew 

Deathchild: will we're breaking up. turns out we're related

Deathchild: also i'm too old for you

Sunnyboy: sure now go to sleep 

Sunnyboy: the average teenager should be getting 8-10 hours of sleep 

Mcshizzle: well we aren't average teenagers are we *hair flip*

Pepper: yeah will *hair flip*

Pinechild: there there little nephew you'll be fine 

Sunnyboy: ... 

Sunnyboy: i prefer my dad 

Pinechild: *gasp* how dare you! i am superior now 

Pinechild: (other than artemis who says hi) 

Pinechild: ...wait

Pinechild: ARTEMIS IS MY HALF SIBLING

Sunnyboy: yeah so are like, half the olympians 

Pinechild: shush go make out with my cuz or something

Seachild: no

Blondchild: no

Sunnyboy: i'm going to bed 

Deathchild: you drove my bf away wtf

Seachild: what happened to breaking up

Deathchild: got back together 

Seachild: dam there goes innocent nico

Deathchild: you named me deathchild

Seachild: yeah and? 

Deathchild: where is the innocent

Deathchild: hazel is innocent

Deathchild: i summon dead things

Seachild: and that is why we must make sure you are innocent every other way :)

Deathchild: i'm 14

Seachild: exactly! 

Deathchild: you are three years older

Seachild: mhm

Deathchild: you know what im going to bed 

Deathchild: gn

Seachild: peace out

Deathchild: no

Blondchild: SO

Seachild: YO

Blondchild: YO

Mcshizzle: YO

Transformer: YO

Seachild: wait wheres grover :(

Pepper: probably asleep

Pepper: it's three fucking am

Blondchild: ooo language

Pepper >:(

Pepper: SLEEP

_Pepper kicked Seachild, Blondchild, Mcshizzle, and Transformer from HELP_

Pepper: ah sweet silence

_Mcshizzle added Seachild, Blondchild, Mcshizzle, and Transformer to HELP_

Pepper: ...how

Mcshizzle: how do you think i got onto the chat in the first place hermana?

Mcshizzle: h a c k i n g

Blondchild: dude thats cool

Blondchild: i can do a bit of coding stuff

Pepper: is that how you track us?

Blondchild: no its an app :)

Blondchild: you guys either had no password or easy passwords on your phones and the app is always there

Blondchild: came with the phone

Seachild: wait thats what that is?

Seachild: WAIT YOURE TRACKING ME TOO

Blondchild: yes of course i am

Blondchild: i fear for each of your lives equally 

Blondchild: don't delete it or i'll reinstall it 

Pepper: ooo is that a threat

Blondchild: yes

Mcshizzle: HA losers

Blondchild: also leo is helping me 

Blondchild: we talked about it earlier

Blondchild: if you delete it he can also find you :)

Seachild: dam

Seachild: ANYWAYS we should sleep GN

Pepper: GN

Blondchild: GN

Mcshizzle: GN

Transformer: GN

Ourchild: gn :)

Seachild: ... were you just watching us?

Ourchild: yup

Seachild: *gasp* are you one of THOSE people

Ourchild: yes

Seachild: *faints* 

Pinechild: LMAO GN AND SHUT UP 

Pinechild: ily guys though 

Pinechild: but in the friendship way 

Pinechild: in the cool aunt way :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am very much so 'one of THOSE people' :')


	5. Chapter 5

HELP  
Monday @ 10:15

Earthgod: yikes

Earthgod: you guys need sleep

Earthgod: like a decent amount of sleep at least

Earthgod: use lavender it gets me asleep all the time

Earthgod: just put some under your pillow

Wisegirl: I do that for Percy without him knowing. Knocks him out in a flash

Pinechild: you know i can totally see that

Monday @ 1:43

Deathchild: i'm hungry

Pepper: mcdonalds? 

Deathchild: you know me too well

Pepper: :) 

Pepper: ANNABETH CAN YOU DRIVE US TO GET MCDONALDS

Wisegirl: Why

Pepper: plssss for nico

Pepper: and me :)

Wisegirl: ... 

Wisegirl: Fine

Wisegirl: Come on I'll borrow the camp car

Wisegirl: But Percy is coming too

Deathchild: fine

Sunnyboy: don't let him have too much of that greasy stuff it's really bad for you

Deathchild: will it's fine i wont die

Sunnyboy: other health things at risk though

Deathchild: shhh if i don't know what'll happen it won't happen ;)

Sunnyboy: that's not how it works

Deathchild: it is now :)

Mcshizzle: mood

Sunnyboy: you know what yall need to make a stop at the infirmary 

Deathchild: yall

Mcshizzle: yall

Sunnyboy: -_-

Sunnyboy: it slipped out

Mcshizzle: i forget you're from texas lmao

Sunnyboy: reason #143 i don't text while working 

Deathchild: nooo your accent is cute :) but get back to work 

Pepper: did nico just use the word cute 

Pepper: aww he's blushing

Pepper: nicoooo.jpeg 

Pepper: brb we're here 

Monday @ 2:12

Deathchild: AHHHHHH

Pepper: HSJDHAKJLSDH

Seachild: LOL

Wisegirl: Speechless 

Mcshizzle: what happened??

Blondchild: huh

Deathchild: I HATE PEOPLE

Ourchild: Humans are overrated 

Pepper: MOOD

Transformer: ??

Wisegirl: We were in line waiting, and this woman who was in her 30's at least came up to us and said that "we looked like a lovely couple but we should keep our child well behaved." Then she tried to get us to join her church.

Deathchild: "your son seems so sweet but i implore you to buy him real clothes like your friend there. oh but he just needs a bit of guidance. my son is about his age if i'm correct, 11 right? yes he goes to this wonderful program for children so they turn out right." 

Deathchild: I DON'T LOOK 11!??!?? I AM THE SON OF THE GOD OF DEATH 

Seachild: then she continued to explain how wonderful children were and asked how old we were 

Pepper: "oh you two must have been young with him! i assume you are in your twenties? you know I was 21 with mine" 

Seachild: she called us old 

Seachild: and im not even out of high school

Wisegirl: Nico got so red and we were just trying not to laugh

Pepper: really didn't help that nico got a happy meal as well

Deathchild: that's besides the point

Deathchild: the point is YOU GUYS DIDN'T EVEN CORRECT HER 

Mcshizzle: BAHAHA I WISH I WAS THERE

Deathchild: PERCY CLAPPED ME ON THE BACK AND ACTED LIKE HE WAS LISTENING TO HER

Deathchild: THEN LOOKED DOWN AT ME SAID "MY WIFE AND I WILL KEEP THAT IN MIND ISNT THAT RIGHT MY BOY" 

Seachild: :)

Seachild: worth it

Deathchild: NOT ONLY DID YOU SOUND LIKE A MIDDLE AGE DAD BUT SHE KEPT TALKING 

Wisegirl: we played the part well

Pepper: i went from friend to friend :( 

Ourchild: Poor Nico 

Deathchild: THANK YOU

Ourchild: But that's funny 

Deathchild: NO

Deathchild: IT'S NOT 

Seachild: there there son it will be okay

Deathchild: i will personally chuck your food out the window

Seachild: NO

Deathchild: WILL 

Blondchild: some nymphs attacked apollo so he's kinda busy

Blondchild: but HAHAHA

Deathchild: laugh at my misery then 

Pepper: that's not even the best part

Pepper: when nico said they weren't his parents she said "no i'm sure they are. i see the resemblance" HSKSKJDH

Deathchild: WHAT RESEMBLANCE WE ARE LIKE, ALL DIFFERENT ETHNICITIES

Pepper: she patted his head and said "oh children. they are funny sometimes."

Deathchild: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Wisegirl: we bought him an extra happy meal after that 

Deathchild: i still hate you all

Blondchild: :( 

Deathchild: *kills all of you* 

Deathchild: <3 there now dad can deal with you

Ourchild: *resurrects everyone*

Deathchild: uhg let me kill everyone in peace

Ourchild: No isn't Annabeth driving you back to camp?

Deathchild: ...yes 

Ourchild: So what good will killing everyone do if you die too? 

Deathchild: bold of you to assume i'm alive

Deathchild: i could be an immortal ghost who is just acting alive

Mcshizzle: mood

Deathchild: shut up you died

Mcshizzle: oh that's so yesterday 

Blondchild: we will torture you with that forever 

Seachild: yessss

Mcshizzle: pls dont

Mcshizzle: i need someone to recognize that i am ALIVE 

Deathchild: unfortuately he is alive

Seachild: unfortunately*

Blondchild: when did you learn how to spell

Seachild: ... i really don't know


	6. Chapter 6

HELP  
Monday @ 5:53

Deathchild: so i'm babysitting apollo again

Bondchild: ooo

Blondchild: what did he do

Deathchild: nothing yet... he's asleep so meg is braiding flowers into his hair

Mcshizzle: BAHAHA

Deathchild: questioning life atm 

Mcshizzle: dont hurt yourself :)

Deathchild: fu 

Mcshizzle: ew no thanks

Deathchild: i- 

Deathchild: oh just fuck off 

Mcshizzle: whatever you say my royal highness 

Deathchild: funny

Mcshizzle: i do my best :) 

Seachild: wait send a pic

Pinechild: oh my gods please do

Deathchild: flowerpollo.jpeg

Seachild: HOW DOES HE NOT NOTICE

Pinechild: BAHAHAHA

Mcshizzle: HOW DID SHE DO THAT

Wisegirl: I hold a new deep respect for Meg

Seachild: THEY ARE COVERING HIS WHOLE HEAD

Pepper: OH NO

Pepper: but those really are his colors 

Pepper: yellow and black

Seachild: ...why

Pepper: just saying \\(._.)/

Seachild: NO ONLY I CAN USE THAT 

Pepper: too bad :)

Deathchild: HES WAKING UP

Deathchild: BAHAHAHA

Deathchild: HE SAW 

Deathchild: this makes up for what happened today

Deathchild: meg's laughing so hard that shes crying

Deathchild: apollo is running around trying to get them out 

Deathchild: this is chaos 

Seachild: WOOOOW

Pepper: HSKJADLS

Sunnyboy: nico why

Deathchild: because it's f u n n y 

Sunnyboy: you know what 

Sunnyboy: wait hang on

Sunnyboy: did you give dad my number

Deathchild: oops?

Seachild: HA

Seachild: wait how does he have a phone

Sunnyboy: it's supposed to be for in camp emergencies 

Seachild: ...why

Sunnyboy: because people are constantly trying to kill him 

Pepper: very true

Pepper: also the nymphs hate him

Sunnyboy: main reason he has the phone

Sunnyboy: ANYWAYS thanks to you two he's spamming me to help him

Sunnyboy: why can't we have normal parents 

Seachild: here here

Wisegirl: I agree but it's hear hear

Wisegirl: Also... is it possible for the gods to text us?

Wisegirl: Since these are magic but only can be used in the camps??

Blondchild: i hope not?

Blondchild: wait what if they read our texts 

Pepper: lets just assume they don't shall we? 

_Private conversation_

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Sunnyboy: yeah i heard

Apollo: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE

Apollo: MY FINALLY DECENT HAIR IS COVERED IN BLACK AND GOLD FLOWERS

Apollo: I shall never sleep again

Apollo: Oh I shall just stare at the ceiling and wait for Artemis to leave the sky

Apollo: Oh also, I think that someone has stolen my job. Let us just hope it isn't Ares

Apollo: I do hope my chariot is good. I might have that Leo kid help fix it

Apollo: I will repay him of course but he is very good at metal working

Apollo: That dragon of his is amazing!

Sunnyboy: are you okay? 

Apollo: Do I need to answer that question? 

Sunnyboy: true true

Sunnyboy: did you get the flowers out yet?

Apollo: There are petals stuck in my hair and your boyfriend is laughing at me

Apollo: Meg is no help either!

Apollo: It's like she WANTS me to suffer

Apollo: But yes I did

Sunnyboy: great just write or sing something my shift ends soon

Apollo: That makes me sound like a child

Apollo: Will I am millennia older than you

Sunnyboy: and yet here we are

Apollo: Low blow 

Apollo: Truly 

Sunnyboy: just stay away from the woods and the lake

Apollo: it was ONE TIME

Sunnyboy: which one time

Sunnyboy: the one time where you went and almost died

Sunnyboy: the one time you ended up in the labyrinth 

Sunnyboy: or the countless times you get too close to a nymph and they attack you 

Apollo: When you put it like that it sounds bad but I assure you I meant them no harm

Sunnyboy: :) 

Apollo: Oh fine. I'll stay with your little boyfriend and do my best not to die 

Apollo: But please don't leave me with them for too long

Apollo: I think they are planning something

Sunnyboy: yeah dad don't worry

Sunnyboy: i just have to wrap a wound up and we can do something 

Apollo: :D FATHER SON BONDING TIME

Apollo: I'll be there in a minute! 

Sunnyboy: WAIT A MINUTE 

Sunnyboy: nvm then 

Sunnyboy: I'LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE

HELP  
Monday @ 6:17

Deathchild: why did apollo just run out

Sunnyboy: you scared him away

Deathchild: aw that's too bad

Deathchild: anyways guess what

Blondchild: what

Wisegirl: What

Seachild: what

Deathchild: where are Hazel and Frank they haven't texted today at all

Seachild: idk they haven't texted today at all

Wisegirl: They might be on their way here you know

Wisegirl: Being the smart ones not texting while driving

Blondchild: ouch :(

Seachild: it's okay bro we can text and drive together 

Blondchild: ayyyy

Wisegirl: For the love of everything good please don't 

Seachild: it's ok annabeth we can bring you with us :)

Wisegirl: No I'll be the one to drive

Seachild: :D 

Deathchild: GUYS STOP BEING MUSHY AND LISTEN

Seachild: :p 

Deachild: :/P

Deathchild: OKAY GUESS WHAT

Seachild: HEY 

Pepper: he did that to my smile too :( RIP smiley face 

Deathchild: is no one going to listen

Pepper: nope :)

Deathchild: wow

Deathchild: fine so i guess no one cares about the fact that HAZEL AND FRANK ARE HERE

Seachild: wait i thought that they were coming tomorrow??

Deathchild: well they are here now come on

Mcshizzle: SHIT

Mcshizzle: i mean oh yay!

Mcshizzle: another reason to be killed

Pepper: OMW

Wisegirl: YES 

Pinechild: tell them i say hi :)

Earthgod: Yeah same :)

Seachild: will do :D

Deathchild: ew stop with the faces 

Seachild: :P 

Deathchild: uhg 

Blondchild: BE THERE IN A MINUTE

Ourchild: Hello! We in the big house!

Transformer: Yup just got here

Seachild: iseeu.jpeg

Transformer: how

Transformer: why 

Ourchild: Get away from the window Percy 

Deathchild: nice pic 

Deathchild: really captures hazel's "i just drove for seven hours don't talk to me or i'll kill you" face 

Ourchild: Shush 

Ourchild: LEO WHERE ARE YOU

Mcshizzle: give me a minute!

Mcshizzle: gotta get this armor on 

Blondchild: are you actually putting on armor??

Mcshizzle: huh? no of course not haha

Mcshizzle: why would i really do that jace

Seachild: *leo taking off the full set of armor he just put on*

Mcshizzle: SHUT UP

Blondchild: leo we are going through your life choices later

Mcshizzle: sure we could do that...

Mcshizzle: OR i could just build a robot that does it for me :)

Mcshizzle: think harder and smarter

Blondchild: isn't it think smarter not harder?

Mcshizzle: well i'm like really smart AND building a robot is so extra but i really want to do it 

Blondchild: ...

Blondchild: again we are going through your life choices later 

Mcshizzle: damn 

Mcshizzle: ANYWAYS IM HEADING OVER THERE

Mcshizzle: any punching done i ask that they are not too hard :)

Mcshizzle: those ares kids are harsh 

Transformer: No promises 

Mcshizzle: et tu brute?

Transformer: :)

Mcshizzle: so yeah i'm coming with armor


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> percabeth short :)

_Private message_

Monday @ 6:34 pm

Seachild: annabethhhhhhhhhhh

Wisegirl: Yup

Seachild: okay so like, what would happen the guys and i took nico on a trip one day

Seachild: and then he didn't know where we were going

Seachild: because he was asleep

Seachild: and we just so happened to be going to like the other side of the lake... not because of me of course

Seachild: and he hasn't woken up

Seachild: then we realize he will curse us out for bringing him

Seachild: even though will is here

Wisegirl: Percy

Wisegirl: Honey

Wisegirl: Seaweedbrain

Wisegirl: Love of my life

Wisegirl: Wtf??

Wisegirl: Where are you?

Seachild: um

Seachild: doing a guy hang out catch up?

Seachild: we had to bring nico otherwise he would be left out :( 

Seachild: stix

Seachild: he's waking up

Seachild: we sacrificed will

Seachild: i will no longer stalk him after this

Wisegirl: I-

Wisegirl: You know what nevermnd

Wisegirl: Just tell me what's happening

Seachild: hes walking to the car where we left nico

Seachild: hes opening the door quietly 

Seachild: its a good thing he came with us 

Seachild: closing the door 

Seachild: SHIT HES AWAKE FULLY

Wisegirl: I don't see the problem other than you kidnapping him 

Seachild: um

Seachild: hes yelling from the car

Seachild: it's muffled but hes glaring at us 

Seachild: he loves us tho :) 

Seachild: now hes coming out with will 

Seachild: HAHA coming out 

Seachild: ooo btw im bi

Wisegirl: ...haven't we been over the fact that like, all of us are bi?? 

Seachild: true true 

Seachild: uh gtg hes running at me

Seachild: this is why we are at the lake :) can't get me in there

Wisegirl: ...

Wisegirl: Don't die I guess?

Seachild: ill do my best :)


	8. Chapter 8

_Deathchild changed HELP to Actually Annoying_

Actually Annoying  
Monday @ 8:57

Deathchild: hey guys want to hear a story

Seachild: NO

Seachild: PLEASE

Deathchild: oh percy

Deathchild: you have already sealed your fate

Pepper: the tea is hot

Ourchild: You have tea?

Pepper: oh hazel

Pepper: sweet young hazel

Pepper: tea means gossip ;)

Ourchild: Then why did you say the tea is hot?

Pepper: because nico has a story about percy to share and i want to know it 

Ourchild: Ah I see

Ourchild: I would also like to know tea 

Pepper: close enough

Deathchild: :)

Seachild: I SAID I WAS SORRY

Seachild: JACEEEEE

Blondchild: nope not my fault this time

Seachild: you suck

Seachild: ANNABETHHHHHH

Wisegirl: Sure sure call for your girlfriend second :) 

Seachild: AHHHHHHHH 

Seachild: love you tho 

Seachild: FRANKKKKK

Transformer: Haha no

Seachild: LEOOOOOOOO

Mcshizzle: no i need to hear what nico says

Mcshizzle: he's got good gossip 

Seachild: DAMMIT

Seachild: you all have failed me 

Seachild: i shall leave and never return

Deathchild: so let me tell a little story about percy :)

Seachild: i hate you

Deathchild: nah

Deathchild: as the head of your little protection squad you can't :)

Deathchild: so one day, our dear percy here decided it was a good idea to make toast

Wisegirl: Oh no

Wisegirl: I know where this is going

Deathchild: I was in the sitting room next to him 

Seachild: who says sitting room

Deathchild: me shush

Deathchild: and this brilliant child could not take the toast out with his hands so guessed what he used?

Blondchild: a fork?

Seachild: oh come on i'm not that stupid :(

Deathchild: no he used chopsticks

Wisegirl: Percy why??

Seachild: I THOUGHT NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN

Pepper: WHAT HAPPENED

Deathchild: they caught on fire

Pinechild: ...how

Seachild: I DONT KNOW 

Deathchild: then he got scared and sprayed water everywhere 

Ourchild: Wow Percy

Deathchild: and electrocuted himself

Ourchild: WOW PERCY

Wisegirl: Percy

Mcshizzle: dude

Blondchild: bro

Pepper: WOW

Transformer: not surprised

Seachild: OUCH

Transformer: just saying :)

Seachild: IT WAS ONE TIME GODS

Deathchild: i will hold it over you forever

Deathchild: i'll write it on your grave

Pepper: HE CAN 

Pepper: AND HE WILL 

Pepper: I CANT WAIT TO SEE THAT 

Pepper: BECAUSE I'M LIVING FOREVER

Deathchild: sure

Seachild: please dont 

Seachild: pleaseeeeeee

Seachild: i didnt die that should count for somethinggggg

Deathchild: mhm

Wisegirl: Percy we need to chat about your life choices too

Wisegirl: And you can't get out by making a therapist robot

Mcshizzle: HA LOSER

Mcsizzle: carol says hi :) she's my robot

Seachild: :(

Seachild: you all are bullies :( 

Deathchild: the best bulliies

Blondchild: amazing bullies

Transformer: Wonderful bullies

Pinechild: we are amazing people 

Pinechild: but i am the immortal one :)

Pepper: :(

Ourchild: And there is the tea

Pepper: YES HAZEL

Deathchild: NO HAZEL

Deathchild: STOP TEACHING HER YOUR WEIRD 21st CENTURY WORDS

Pepper: never


	9. Chapter 9

Actually Annoying   
Tuesday @ 10:21 am

Seachild: NO

Seachild: WHY

Seachild: LUCKYYYYYYYYYY

Seachild: SHE DIED

Deathchild: death waits for no one

Pepper: who's lucky?

Seachild: my dog 

Pepper: aw i'm sorry

Ourchild: aw :(

_Seachild changed Blondchild to Dogkiller_

Dogkiller: I SAID I WAS SORRY

Seachild: YOU TOOK AWAY MY LOVE

Seachild: THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

Seachild: SHE WAS MY EVERYTHING

Dogkiller: dude you found her an hour ago

Wisegirl: What is happening

Pepper: wait jason did you kill percy's dog??

Dogkiller: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Seachild: YOU PUSHED HER INTO LAVA

Ourchild: ...lava?

Dogkiller: YOU PUSHED ME INTO LAVA

Deathchild: both of you shut up 

Deathchild: percy you have like 20 other dogs

Seachild: BUT LUCKY WAS MY FIRST ONE

Sunnyboy: this is why i build gardens

Sunnyboy: you should see my beetroot farm

Transformer: We have enough chickens to last a decade

Wisegirl: Oh I see

Wisegirl: They're playing Minecraft again.

Pepper: oh that makes so much more sense 

Pepper: wait why didn't you invite us??

Wisegirl: Yeah are you using our world? 

Earthgod: um yeah? 

Seachild: oops

Wisegirl: What did you do

Seachild: okay don't freak

Pepper: where's leo

Seachild: so um

Seachild: funny story

Wisegirl: Funny story or Leo messed up big time?

Mcshizzle: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Wisegirl: Lots of accidents seem to be happening

Seachild: hehe

Seachild: so leo found some flint

Seachild: and made flint and steel

Seachild: and the nether portal is right next to the buildings...

Wisegirl: LEO DID YOU BURN MY BUILDINGS

Mcshizzle: IM SORRY OKAY 

Wisegirl: LEO

Dogkiller: we're fixing it okay!

Wisegirl: LET ME JOIN NOW

Wisegirl: NOWWWWW

Mcshizzle: dont kill me please i just got diamond armor :(

Wisegirl: SHUSH

Wisegirl: THAT TOOK TWO WEEKS YOU AHHHHHH

Seachild: its not that bad i mean, it was just some wood

Wisegirl: Let me join so I can see the damage

Pepper: i'm getting on too

Ourchild: Oooo me too i want to check on my cats

Wisegirl: LEO THAT WOOD WAS FROM FAR AWAY

Mchizzle: oops? 

Dogkiller: don't worry we're on our way to help 

Seachild: :)


	10. Chapter 10

Actually annoying  
Tuesday 4:32 pm

Wisegirl: Finally

Wisegirl: All fixed 

Wisegirl: All is good in the world

Sunnyboy: all is good in your world

Deathchild: apollo's got over a hundred cows

Deathchild: like wtf

Deathchild: meg and apollo got this cow and vegetable farm happening and idk why but its huge

Seachild: WAIT I WANT TO SEE

Seachild: BRT

Ourchild: brt?

Wisegirl: That's not even an abbreviation 

Seachild: FINE BE RIGHT THERE THEN GODS

Sunnyboy: he took up my yard :(

Sunnyboy: i had a flower garden and a little pond with lilypads 

Sunnyboy: it was pretty

Deathchild: you could let all his cows go

Deathchild: break a fence and let the madness take over :)

Pepper: nico no

Deathchild: nico yes

Sunnyboy: NO DON'T 

Seachild: WHOA THATS COOL

Mcshizzle: ya know, if you burn the fence then the cows will be running around

Blondchild: but that's greifing

Mcshizzle: it's called fun :)

Deathchild: not a bad idea really

Ourchild: But the cows will burn :(

Mcshizzle: uhg fine

Deathchild: they are a series of 0 and 1's that go moo

Ourchild: They moo

Deathchild: ...

Deathchild: fine i'll just have to release them by hitting a block

Sunnyboy: dad will kill you if you do that you know

Sunnyboy: still holds it over hermes for stealing his cows

Deathchild: he doesn't need to know it was me ;)

Deathchild: there is a magic called potions

Deathchild: *gasp* wow amazing

Deathchild: *clapping clapping*

Transformer: Don't die then

Transformer: Take the right potion

Sunnyboy: are you helping him??

Transformer: just making sure he doesn't take poison

Transformer: it's a dumb way to die and he has no buckets for milk

Deathchild: nah i took invisible potions and speed potions

Deathchild: he wont get me :)

Sunnyboy: meg might

Deathchild: ... true

Deathchild: eh it's fine

Deathchild: they can't see our texts

Seachild: are you all in nico's cabin or something?

Deathchild: yup

Pepper: so can't they see what you are doing on the screen??

Deathchild: two tvs

Deathchild: dad is the god of riches 

Seachild: so you rich rich huh

Deathchild: didnt i just say dad's the god of wealth

Seachild: ...

Seachild: can you give us money?

Deathchild: sure

Seachild: :0 

Seachild: YES 

Seachild: SHOPPING SPREE

Wisegirl: Reasonable shopping spree

Seachild: REASONABLE SHOPPING SPREE

Sunnyboy: HE DID IT

Sunnyboy: dad's mad 

Sunnyboy: he's trying to get the cows back as he swears words colorful enough to make a rainbow

Pinechild: mood

Sunnyboy: truly frightening 

Ourchild: RIP Nico

Blondchild: yeah he's dead 

Deathchild: nah i'm immortal

Deathchild: dad basically said i'll be able to live with him when i die making me like a minor god :)

Deathchild: i'll just one up apollo

Sunnyboy: better tell him that before he rips you to shreds 

Deathchild: ooo brb

Deathchild: about to become a god ;)

Sunnyboy: pls dont

Seachild: mood

Pepper: moo

Pepper: cows

Pepper: swarming my house

Pepper: help i cant kill them 

Pepper: vegetarian self thriving off of potatoes here

Mcshizzle: dude they are just cows

Pepper: but they are COWS

Pepper: let me be vegetarian in peace

Seachild: vegan

Blondchild: vegan

Pepper: SHUT UP THEY ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS

Seachild: hehe vegan

Pepper: you try being the only vegetarian in a science class talking about protein

Pepper: EVERYONE TURNED TO LOOK AT ME LIKE GODS

Pepper: I'M ALIVE AREN'T I THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO GET PROTEIN

Pepper: IT WAS EMBARRASSING 

Pepper: EVERYONE CALLS ME VEGAN

Pepper: I'M NOT VEGAN

Seachild: oops

Seachild: bro we found a wild piper

Blondchild: pokeball go

Pepper: AHHHHHHHHHH

Pepper: i hate you

Blondchild: ily :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The vegetarian story actually happened. All my classmates call me vegan like, all the time. One day it was class. I sit at the back. The teacher said "Okay class today we will talk about protein." and when I say the whole class turned around I mean the whole class. They all stared at me and I was like 😐😑"the things I put up with". She said "We need protein to stay alive" and they started laughing. Like come on. I'm alive aren't I? Yeah I hated that class.


	11. Chapter 11

_Private conversation_  
Tuesday @ 5:30

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Apollo: WILL

Sunnyboy: are you going to do that every time something happens?

Apollo: YES

Apollo: I NO LONGER APPROVE OF NICO

Apollo: OR YOUR FRIENDS

Apollo: WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE TWO CECIL AND LOU

Sunnyboy: they aren't at camp

Apollo: WELL MAKE THEM COME TO CAMP

Apollo: MAKE THEM DO MAGIC OR SOMETHING I DONT CARE

Sunnyboy: i'm going to take your phone away

Apollo: NO

Apollo: I NEED IT

Apollo: it holds infinite knowledge that i cannot obtain from the books here

Sunnyboy: you can't take it on your quest

Sunnyboy: it only works in the two camps

Apollo: whyyyyyyyyyyyy

Sunnyboy: ...your quest is all about fixing the communications?? 

Sunnyboy: and finding the oracles???

Sunnyboy: so you can become a god again????

Sunnyboy: and so we aren't stuck watching you fail to make coffee at two in the afternoon??????????

Apollo: ITS HARD TO USE ALRIGHT

Sunnyboy: you don't even need to make it just ask the cups

Apollo: But it tastes better when you make it!

Artemis: apollo you need to shut up

Apollo: HUH

Sunnyboy: wut 

Apollo: WAIT ARTEMIS

Apollo: HELP MEEEEEE

Apollo: COME ON ANSWER

Apollo: SIS

Apollo: TWIN

Apollo: SISSSSSS

Sunnyboy: dad

Apollo: No that's Zues

Apollo: ARTI

Apollo: MISSY 

Apollo: WHAT OTHER NICKNAMES ARE THERE

Apollo: HELLOOOOO

Sunnyboy: i will block you

Apollo: But she just texted!

Apollo: How????

Sunnyboy: idk let me think

Sunnyboy: they are gods

Apollo: Curse this stupid mortal form 

Apollo: WAIT ARE THEY READING MY TEXTS

Sunnyboy: yeah im pretty sure they are also watching you but

Apollo: WATCHING ME

Apollo: STALKERS

Sunnyboy: dont you watch us

Apollo: Yes but only when it looks like you need help 

Sunnyboy: wow

Apollo: I can stalk you as a god would you like that?

Sunnyboy: haha no

Apollo: Good! Now back to the task at hand

Apollo: GET ME MY COWS BACKKKKKKKKK

Sunnyboy: you have wheat

Apollo: BUT MEG WONT LET ME USE IT ITS ALL NOT GROWN YET SHE SAYS

Sunnyboy: oof

Apollo: Do not oof me

Sunnyboy: give me my pond back and you've got a deal

Apollo: ... fine

Apollo: I'll move slightly over

Sunnyboy: deal :)

Apollo: Ooo what's that 

Apollo: :)

Apollo: OH LOOK I CAN DO MORE

Apollo: <3

Apollo: :(

Apollo: >:)

Apollo: Ooo I like that one

Apollo: o_0

Apollo: :0

Apollo: ;)

Apollo: :/

Apollo: :P

Sunnyboy: dad

Apollo: Yes :)

Sunnyboy: You will be blocked soon


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Tactical-Sloth42 for the idea!!

_Private conversation_  
Wednesday @ 8:34 am

Wisegirl: Percy

Seachild: yuppers

Wisegirl: Didn't we talk about that?

Seachild: fine 

Seachild: yes m'lady 

Wisegirl: Sure stick with that

Seachild: noted ;)

Wisegirl: Okay but seriously here

Wisegirl: I have a problem

Seachild: all ears

Wisegirl: I have a dentist appointment

Wisegirl: To get my wisdom teeth removed...

Seachild: hah good luck

Wisegirl: Percy serious topic

Seachild: okay sorry

Seachild: need me to come with?

Wisegirl: If that's okay can you 

Wisegirl: I won't be able to drive myself back for obvious reasons

Wisegirl: I'm probably going to say or do stupid things though

Seachild: ...totally recording it

Wisegirl: Mhm

Wisegirl: The thing is, I've never really been under before

Wisegirl: It's like being drunk but even worse I bet

Seachild: yeah lets hope you never get too drunk

Seachild: Who knows what youll do

Seachild: never let me get drunk either

Seachild: jay gave me something that made me woozy and i ended up flooding my cabin

Seachild: i literally woke up with the cabin filled with water with fish swimming around

Wisegirl: Noted

Seachild: when are you leaving

Wisegirl: In like thirty minutes

Seachild: oh shoot okay give me 10

Wisegirl: Thank you so much

Seachild: ;)

Actually annoying  
Wednesday @ 10:27

Wisegirl: ayyyyyyyyyy

Deathchild: tf

Wisegirl: NCO HEYYYYY hows my fvrit child

Deathchild: once again 

Deathchild: tf

Seachild: sorry about that she just woke up 

Pepper: woke up from what

Wisegirl: OMG PEPPER

Wisegirl: girllll youhavent talked n ike AGESZ

Pepper: whoa

Pepper: she drunk?

Wisegirl: n no ha drunk? me? 

Seachild: she got her wisdom teeth out

Wisegirl: PERCY!

Wisegirl: love you were r u

Seachild: okay annabeth im going to take your phone for a bit

Wisegirl: NO

Seachild: stix shes crying

Seachild: backup? 

Wisegirl: i thot u love me

Wisegirl: y dont you say it bak

Seachild: i love you 

Wisegirl: awwww

Blondchild: we are never letting annabeth get drunk

Wisegirl: u asume i never got drunk b4 huh 

Pepper: wait you got drunk before??

Wisegirl: ya he church wineee

Wisegirl: shhhh dont let my frinds no

Wisegirl: it can be or screte ;)

Pinechild: girl

Wisegirl: TALLIAAA OMG HIIIII

Wisegirl: i love uuuuuu

Pinechild: sweet

Wisegirl: guyssss shes my sis

Blondchild: i-

Wisegirl: too bad dude

Pinechild: i like this annabeth

Wisegirl: everyone lovs me

Hazel: Whoa

Transformer: Annabeth wowww

Wisegirl: heyyyy ;)

Wisegirl: prcyyyy

Wisegirl: percee

Wisegirl: persi

Wisegirl: percy

Wisegirl: haha

Wisegirl: ya but he wnt anser me

Wisegirl: hez aslep or somtin

Pepper: are you in his cabin?

Wisegirl: ya he locked the dor and put a bookself infrot

Blondchild: dang

Wisegirl: ees so cuteeee

Deathchild: ew shes mushy

Wisegirl: and u emo but im no saying anyting bout that huh

Deathchild: IMNOTEMO

Wisegirl: cant reas that its too togeter

Deathchild: and you cant spell

Wisegirl: I CAN TWO

Deathchild: wrong too

Wisegirl: SHUT UP 

Sunnyboy: hey

Wisegirl: OMG HI WILL ily

Sunnyboy: ...okay? 

Deathchild: ew

Sunnyboy: ah i see

Sunnyboy: wisdom teeth removal

Transformer: Mine aren't coming in for a while soooo

Blondchild: i will never get mine out if i act anything close to this

Blondchild: i'll probably electrocute the world or fly to spain 

Transformer: i'd probably turn into a bug and fly somewhere

Wisegirl: heyyyyyy

Wisegirl: guysssss

Wisegirl: OMG IS THAT APOLLO

Seachild: dang it

 _Private conversation_   
Wednesday @ 11:11

Apollo: Will

Apollo: Help

Apollo: I'll do anything

Sunnyboy: huh?

Apollo: Annabeth is hugging me

Apollo: I think Athena will kill me 

Apollo: I don't want Athena to kill me

Sunnyboy: omw

Apollo: Please

Apollo: I like people being in awe of me but not when they sound drunk

Sunnyboy: she got her wisdom teeth out

Apollo: Ah I see

Apollo: She is scary like this

Actually annoying  
Wednesday @ 11:15

Seachild: i dont know how i feel about by girlfriend hugging apollo 

Sunnyboy: if it makes you feel better he's freaked out

Seachild: well now i feel bad for him 

Blondchild: oh wow

Blondchild: shes going to hate this later

Seachid: omw to pry them apart

Pepper: BAHAHA

Pepper: yeah she is so going to hate us

Deathchild: haha yeah

Wisegirl: whyyyyyyyyy

Wisegirl: he look funny ha 

Wisegirl: but es apoloooo

Wisegirl: hes so coool

Seachild: yup cool

Blondchild: HAHA

Seachild: dude

Blondchild: ik 

Wisegirl: djfa.rhalghnvharvailvahvfjhvbfffrbbfjsllllllllllllvfslhvbnfvbhvvvvvvvvvlssssfvn

Pinechild: tf

Wisegirl: THALIA ILY 

Pinechild: yo

Seachild: i got her

Seachild: yeah she's gonna hate all of us later 

Wisegirl: but i love al of uuuu

Pepper: love you too

Wisegirl: AWWWW u love me???

Pepper: yuuup

Seachild: pipes shes crying

Pepper: oops :(

Wisegirl: u al ar soo nice 

Deathchild: spelling please

Wisegirl: all but neco

Deathchild: nico

Wisegirl: neco

Deathchild: nico

Wisegirl: neco

Deathchild: i-

Wisegirl: meanie

Deathchild: wow

Blondchild: BAHAHA


	13. Chapter 13

_Private conversation_  
Wednesday @ 11:23

Wisegirl: necoooooooooo

Wisegirl: necoooooooooo

Wisegirl: nnecoooooooo

Deathchild: really

Wisegirl: NECOOOO

Wisegirl: IMM SORRY

Wisegirl: didnt meam it

Deathchild: huh

Wisegirl: i caled u a meanie

Deathchild: okay?

Wisegirl: and thats not nice

Deathchild: its fine

Wisegirl: but its not ok

Deathchild: annabeth its fine 

Wisegirl: im srory

Deathchild: really its okay

Wisegirl: t is?

Deathchild: ...yeah

Wisegirl: YAY

Wisegirl: ehrt r u

Deathchild: huh

Wisegirl: where r u

Deathchild: ...in my cabin

Deathchild: why? 

Deathchild: oh

_Private conversation_  
Wednesday @ 11:29

Sunnyboy: percy?

Seachild: oh will have you seen annabeth she ran out like three minutes ago and i cant find her

Seachild: what if she went in the woods or something

Seachild: oh gods i am such a bad boyfriend

Seachild: how did i forget to lock the door

Sunnyboy: dude chill

Seachild: but what if i never see her again

Sunnyboy: shes right here dont worry

Seachild: she is!!

Seachild: thank you thank you thank you

Sunnyboy: yeah shes in nico's cabin right now

Sunnyboy: kinda like, crying and hugging him

Sunnyboy: percy?

Sunnyboy: ah i see

_Private conversation_  
Wednesday @ 11:32

Deathchild: why is she clingy now

Deathchild: that's not annabeth

Sunnyboy: that's the after affects coming in

Sunnyboy: why are you texting me anyways we are sitting right next to each other

Deathchild: dont want to bother the happy couple

Sunnyboy: i mean, it's your cabin and they interrupted us

Deathchild: omg dont make it sound like that

Sunnyboy: ;)

Deathchild: istg if anyone reads my texts

Sunnyboy: it's just cuddling stalkers of nico's phone

Deathchild: haha

Deathchild: funny

Deathchild: i dont think percy would have noticed anything anyways

Sunnyboy: i mean, he was freaked out that annabeth left

Sunnyboy: why did she leave

Deathchild: she felt bad about calling me a 'meanie'

Sunnyboy: aww

Deathchild: sweet yeah but not my style

Sunnyboy: so now they are on the bed opposite us asleep because...

Deathchild: annabeth called me a meanie yeah

Sunnyboy: wow

Sunnyboy: um so what can we do now...

Deathchild: idk 

Deathchild: video games??

Sunnyboy: sure


	14. Chapter 14

Actually annoying  
Thursday @ 2:13 am

Wisegirl: ...

Wisegirl: I hate you all

Pepper: what happened to proclaiming your love

Wisegirl: I take back any proclamations 

Pepper: damn :(

Wisegirl: Did I really hug Apollo??

Sunnyboy: yes

Sunnyboy: if it makes you feel better he was afraid athena would smite him the whole time

Wisegirl: Reasonable

Wisegirl: And... Nico

Deathchild: OML FINALLY YOU SPELL IT RIGHT

Wisegirl: To be fair it sounds like N e c o

Deathchild: no

Wisegirl: Fine

Wisegirl: Sorry about whatever that was

Deathchild: tbh i expected worse

Deathchild: but you and percy better leave my cabin in the morning because i swear

Deathchild: next thing you know he and jason will move in and leave their stuff everywhere ew

Wisegirl: Noted

Wisegirl: Anyways erase any memories of me from the past day from your head 

Wisegirl: My mouth hurts

Pepper: to be expected

Wisegirl: Still hurts

Pepper: girl did you not just see what i said

Wisegirl: Goodnight Pipes

Pepper: night annie

Wisegirl: We still need to talk about Annie

Pepper: no that's your name now

_Pepper changed Wisegirl to Annie_

Annie: Wow

Pepper: ik right

_Annie changed Pepper to Pipe_

Pipe: and yet here i am once more

Pipe: another object

Annie: Hah 

Pipe: i need someone who can actually name people


	15. Chapter 15

Actually annoying  
Thursday @ 5:34 am

Deathchild: anyone ever feel drunk after they drink coffee

Blondchild: ...why

Deathchild: i used it to stay up late

Deathchild: idk i feel drunk

Blondchild: how do you know what being drunk feels like??

Deathchild: the beauty of too many meds

Blondchild: ...

Blondchild: technically not being drunk but whatever

Blondchild: possibly

Deathchild: cool cause i just had like, seven cups and i feel HIGH AF

Pipe: that's dangerous 

Deathchild: baby my last name's dangerous 

Sunnyboy: it means of the angels literally 

Deathchild: hey solace ;)

Sunnyboy: my cue to leave

Blondchild: i like how will just doesn't address the coffee intake of his caffeinated boyfriend

Pipe: quite honestly surprising

Sunnyboy: i don't even know how he got it in the first place

Deathchild: big house

Deathchild: don't worry i brought some back for the disney prince and princess over here

Sunnyboy: annabeth can't have that right now

Deathchild: oops

Deathchild: then just for the princess

Deathchild: cause we all know annabeth saved percy more times than he can count

Pipe: BAHAHA

Pipe: but you assume he doesn't know that

Deathchild: there

Deathchild: eight cups of coffee

Pinechild: whatever drove you to that amount is probably not good

Deathchild: ya think

Deathchild: i have the main couple of any high school movie making out in front of me

Sunnyboy: technically behind us

Deathchild: ew

Deathchild: i can't even watch tv in peace these days

Pipe: just put on finding nemo percy's a sucker for it

Deathchild: good call

Blondchild: we all know hercules is the superior movie

Seachild: hercules sucks

Blondchild: bro ik he's my actual brother

Blondchild: it's funny to see how mortals see him then compare

Seachild: okay facts

Seachild: also... nico

Seachild: just everything you said

Deathchild: don't make out in my cabin then

Annie: Okay it wasn't making out it was just a kiss

Deathchild: spare the details 

Deathchild: you heteros

Seachild: nico we are like, all not hetero

Deathchild: hetero

Seachild: i think frank and hazel are the only straights 

Deathchild: hm

Deathchild: they are the token straights 

Seachild: ouch

Sunnyboy: deal with it

Pipe: oooo

Annie: Just watch Nemo already

Annie: Get it over with

Seachild: nemo is my baby

Seachild: my child

Blondchild: you have a new child like every day

Seachild: and

Blondchild: okay fair enough

Seachild: naming my children nemo dorthy and marlin

Annie: You will do no such thing

Annie: Get some fish and name them that but you are not naming any kids if that's the intent

Seachild: I CAN GET FISH

Annie: Dang it

Seachild: nico can i use your dad's money

Deathchild: go ahead

Seachild: yessssss

Annie: If the choice is naming fish after fish or naming children after fish... I guess you can get fish

Annie: That would be worse than how Harry Potter named his kids

Pipe: okay their names suck but i can't not use them cause i'm like... attached to the names

Annie: Same here

Deathchild: stop your harry potter talk 

Deathchild: we can watch the nature channel

Deathchild: watch the little fish swim around

Deathchild: all happy and stuff

Deathchild: then a shark comes out and chomps its brains out

Seachild: WTF 

Deathchild: im getting a shark

Seachild: DONT TOUCH MY INNOCENT FISH

Sunnyboy: wow

Pipe: edgyyyyy

Deathchild: death

Seachild: IM TELLING DAD

Deathchild: not my fault that sharks eat

Deathchild: go out and tell them to be vegan or something

Seachild: WILL

Sunnyboy: summoned once more

Sunnyboy: i shall be taking the nature channel off of the tv

Deathchild: nope

Deathchild: do that and i'll send the skeletons of all the bunnies eaten by wolves on you

Sunnyboy: you can't summon two skeletons at the moment

Deathchild: dammit

Seachild: :)

Deathchild: i'll just watch it at sally's house

Deathchild: she loves me

Pipe: percy's mom is all of our mom

Annie: she's the best

Blondchild: for real

Sunnyboy: i met her once but she is

Seachild: appreciate that you all love my mom but...

Seachild: can we go back to NICO

Pipe: the nature channel's funny

Pipe: i've got to admit that

Deathchild: see

Deathchild: not the only one who thinks so

Seachild: BUT THE FISH

Deathchild: don't you eat fish

Seachild: ...yeah

Deathchild: then you can't be talking :)

Seachild: :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nico shares my random thoughts because i love him
> 
> *sips fifth cup of coffee while i think about all the homework i haven't done* 
> 
> if you can't tell this chat is literally just random things that pop up and i roll with it


	16. Chapter 16

_Seachild added Deathchild and Blondchild to CUZINZ_  
CUZINZ  
Thursday @ 7:40 am

Seachild: YO

Blondchild: YO

Deathchild: FUCKING NO

Deathchild: you young people always on your phones

Deathchild: wait until you're my age

Seachild: ew we've got an old coot here

Blondchild: ew 

Blondchild: dearest nico, we request that you join us on a wonderful trip zeus' fist 

Deathchild: when did you learn how to speak

Blondchild: when you became an old man

Blondchild: decided to learn your language 

Deathchild: ad essere onesti questa è la mia vera lingua ma divertiti a tradurla :) sai che suona divertente ma ho un appuntamento con il mio adorabile ragazzo di cui sembra che non ti fidi. Immagino che dovrò solo sprecare 'tempo per legare la famiglia'

Blondchild: beh, per caso ho imparato l'italiano così posso tradurre facilmente. non sbarazzarti di me così facilmente;) Percy non sa come farlo quindi dirà "hey ho visto il mio nome cosa stai dicendo" haha

Seachild: tf

Deathchild: dammit why'd you have to go and learn italian

Seachild: are you talking about me

Blondchild: BAHAHA

Blondchild: sweet percy

Blondchild: oh sweet young percy

Seachild: i'm older than all of you

Deathchild: not if you die

Seachild: STOP WITH THE DEATH

Deathchild: or become immortal and never age

Seachild: been there and didn't do that

Deathchild: well then my friend, you are old

Seachild: you are old

Deathchild: you look old

Deathchild: that lady thought you were in your late twenties

Seachild: shut up 

Deathchild: nope

Blondchild: shut up shut up shut up

Blondchild: so about the trip is that still a no?

Deathchild: no i'm busy

Seachild: really? cause i asked will and he said you were free

Deathchild: dammit

Deathchild: fine i guess

Seachild: am i that predictable?

Seachild: just put the cursed words through google translate uhg

Seachild: speak a language i know too

Blondchild: no

Deathchild: no

Seachild: you are right now

Blondchild: no (in spanish)

Seachild: i-

Seachild: yk what let's just have the stupid picnic come on

Deathchild: ew

Seachild: you just said you'd go

Deathchild: i am being forced to go

Blondchild: we have yet to remove you from your cabin by force

Deathchild: you wouldn't

Deathchild: ...you wouldn't

Deathchild: YOU WOULDN'T

Deathchild: LEAVE 

Deathchild: FUCK

Actually annoying  
Thursday @ 8:14 am

Sunnyboy: should i be worried that nico's being restrained by percy and jason as they drag him out of his cabin??

Annie: they're having 'bonding time' 

Sunnyboy: ah

Sunnyboy: yikes

Ourchild: He's in the belly of the beast now

Ourchild: Let's hope he makes it back alive

Pipe: he probably won't but we can only hope

Pipe: rip nico 1932-2011 

Mcshizzle: truly a long life

Mcshizzle: he's so fucking old dude

Ourchild: What does that make me??

Mcshizzle: even older since you had a crush on my great grandad

Mcshizzle: still not over that

Ourchild: Sammy was sweet

Mcshizzle: stfu rn

Ourchild: We kissed you know

Mcshizzle: BYE

Pipe: BAHAHAHA

Pipe: WHY ARE OUR LIVES SO MESSED UP

Annie: we've been wondering that for a while now

Transformer: Yup

Ourchild: No hard feelings Frank

Transformer: :)

Sunnyboy: huh

Ourchild: It was decades ago 

Sunnyboy: not gonna question it

Deathchild: save me

Deathchild: please

Pipe: he used please

Pipe: *GASP*

Deathchild: get your uncle to stop carrying me like a baby

Pipe: NOT MY UNCLE

Pipe: WE DROPPED THE RELATIONSHIP CONVERSATION AGES AGO

Mcshizzle: hah baby

Deathchild: i will reap your soul

Mcshizzle: im kinda attached to my soul tho

Deathchild: not for long

Mcshizzle: ACTUALLY BYE

Deathchild: stop bringing my age up gods

Ourchild: when nico's younger but older than you at the same time 

Deathchild: losers

Deathchild: now get me away i did not agree to this

Seachild: you did

Deathchild: i did not agree to being dragged with you

Seachild: it was in the fine print

Deathchild: WHAT FINE PRINT

Seachild: part 5 paragraph 43453

Deathchild: bish

Deathchild: everyone hates me

Sunnyboy: :(

Deathchild: you told them we weren't busy

Sunnyboy: technically i said nothing 

Sunnyboy: percy just ran up to me and said something like 'hey are you and nico busy today? no? great!' and ran off

Deathchild: oof

Deathchild: everyone hates me

Pipe: mood

Deathchild: oh nevermind

Deathchild: they got fucking cannolis

Annie: You swear a lot

Deathchild: cause they're so fucking good

Blondchild: told you it was worth it

Deathchild: you did not such thing but we're good for now

Seachild: we are amazing people

Pipe: don't flatter yourself

Seachild: i dont know what youre talking about

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *aggressively chugs coffee brain go brrr*
> 
> ANOTHER CHAPTER THAT'S COMPLETELY STUPID BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S OKAY
> 
> i can't wait to look back at this in two years and hate myself for all the fanfics i've made and cried over :)
> 
> the translations are:
> 
> nico: to be honest this is my real language but have fun translating it :) you know it sounds fun but i have a date with my lovely boyfriend who you seem to not trust. I guess I'll just have to waste 'family bonding time'
> 
> jason: well, by chance I learned Italian so I can translate easily. don't get rid of me so easily ;) Percy doesn't know how to though so he'll say "hey I saw my name what are you saying" haha


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up, kinda some adult jokes??? just what you expect from teenagers really but just an FYI so no one hates me. i keep most of everything else clean but...
> 
> SORRY

Actually annoying  
Thursday @ 2:21

Seachild: you should be happy to be graced with such intelligent and intellectual messages

Pipe: that's probably the most intellectual thing you've said on here

Annie: I've got to agree

Seachild: hkfjskd

Seachild: wowwww

Pipe: example 1325

Seachild: you know dam well you made that up

Pipe: close enough

Deathchild: GUYS

Deathchild: WTF

Seachild: i didn't do it

Deathchild: u dont even know what it is

Seachild: just saying

Deathchild: uhg

Deathchild: HELP ME I 

Blondchild: hope he's not dying

Mcshizzle: that would suck

Deathchild: UWRD:UDNVDLHNNAxznvzanhar

Deathchild: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Deathchild: UJDBVRLVSDLJJCH VUBh aAH

Deathchild: I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE

Mcshizzle: mood

Deathchild: HOW DID ANYONE EVEN FIND THEM

Seachild: find what?

Sunnyboy: babynico.jpg

Pipe: AWW

Deathchild: WILL WTF

Ourchild: Nico you were so cute as a kid!!

Sunnyboy: smilingnico??.jpg

Seachild: dude you were so cute

Mcshizzle: what happened

Deathchild: NO

Deathchild: AH

Deathchild: DAMN YOU SOLACE

Annie: AW NICO

Transformer: So you can smile

Deathchild: none of you deserve my smile

Sunnyboy: edgy

Deathchild: that includes you now for this betrayal

Sunnyboy: :(

Sunnyboy: oh well

Sunnyboy: whatcaniloose.jpg

Deathchild: a whole fucking lot

Sunnyboy: that little hat is adorable

Pipe: how did you find these masterpieces

Deathchild: dad dropped them off

Deathchild: i hate everyone and everything

Deathchild: on the top of the list are you all

Deathchild: next are vests

Pipe: what do you have against vests???

Deathchild: take a look at the dreadful photo my idiotic boyfriend just sent 

Sunnyboy: you love me

Deathchild: unfortunately 

Sunnyboy: says the one with a face as red as a tomato

Seachild: i don't see anything wrong with the picture

Annie: littlepercy.jpg

Annie: Maybe it's because you have your own share of embarrassing photos

Seachild: HOW DID YOU GET THAT

Wisegirl: Mrs. Jackson was more than willing to give me all the pictures I wanted

Seachild: I WAS FIVE AND IN A ART PHASE

Blondchild: this keeps getting better

Blondchild: and literally no one has any pictures of me of a kid

Pipe: i'm sure someone has bad photos of you

Seachild: i've got one of when i drew on your face with a sharpie :)

Blondchild: NO

Seachild: yikesjay.jpg

Deathchild: i feel better now

Blondchild: NO

Blondchild: EW

Blondchild: WHY DID YOU DO THAT

Blondchild: MY SKIN WAS AWFUL AFTER THAT

Seachild: sucks to suck

Deathchild: that's what he said

Seachild: NO

Sunnyboy: i-

Blondchild: NICO 

Pipe: HSKFSHK

Mcshizzle: nice 

Deathchild: think before you speak

_Seachild deleted 1 message_

Seachild: NO

Seachild: YOU ARE A CHILD NO ADULT JOKES FOR YOU

Deathchild: :)

Mcshizzle: daily reminder for everyone to use protection

_Sunnyboy left the group_

_Seachild left the group_

_Transformer left the group_

_Ourchild left the group_

_Annie left the group_

Mcshizzle: all of you are weak 

Deathchild: BAHAHA 

_Mcshizzle added Sunnyboy, Seachild, Transformer, Ourchild, and Annie to Actually annoying_

_Mcshizzle changed the name to Beware the Leo_

Seachild: all of you are some strange children 

_Seachild changed the name to KEEP IT PG_

Transformer: This is why i don't talk 

Ourchild: You are all weird 

Deathchild: :)

Annie: I can't believe what I put up with 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i loosing ideas? possibly
> 
> will i quit? NOPE
> 
> haha you all are going to be getting some conversations with my friends in the near future because we are weird people who talk about weird things


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay yes the timeline is off but i really wanted to add magnus and alex
> 
> alex is my favorite character next to nico, thalia, percy, and reyna
> 
> you know, now that i've written that i kinda see a pattern... i base my personalities on all of them 😂 wowww

_Annie added Beantown to KEEP IT PG ___

__KEEP IT PG  
Friday @ 4:23 am_ _

__Annie: Everyone meet Magnus_ _

__Annie: Dead cousin #3_ _

__Annie: All my cousins are dead_ _

__Beantown: our uncle is trying to kill me to get his dead daughters and wife back_ _

__Beantown: he's trying to kill me again_ _

__Beantown: i have died five times today and i'm tired_ _

__Annie: It's only four am_ _

__Beantown: i hate my fast reviving powers_ _

__Deathchild: what an entrance_ _

__Deathchild: this is why people should stay dead_ _

__Beantown: i wish_ _

__Beantown: then i wouldn't have this offensive screen name_ _

__Beantown: this is why i didn't want you to meet alex annabeth_ _

__Annie: She's my new favorite person_ _

__Beantown: anyways who are you_ _

__Deathchild: nico son of hades_ _

__Deathchild: my name gives it away mostly_ _

__Beantown: cool i'm magnus son of frey_ _

__Beantown: i heal stuff_ _

__Deathchild: my boyfriend is a son of apollo who heals stuff too_ _

__Beantown: that's so cool_ _

__Beantown: my friend alex is the child of loki_ _

__Beantown: he wanted to be mentioned before he dies_ _

__Annie: Hi Alex_ _

__Beantown: he says hi_ _

__Deathchild: you know loki??_ _

__Beantown: oh yeah he's trying to end the world_ _

__Beantown: he looks nothing like tom hiddleston by the way_ _

__Deathchild: bummer to both_ _

__Beantown: i know_ _

__Beantown: watching acid drip down his face while he talks about marrying off your friend to a giant really is an experience_ _

__Beantown: but we solved that issue_ _

__Beantown: sam would have really killed me otherwise and that would not be fun_ _

__Annie: Tell Samirah I say hi!_ _

__Annie: She's really nice_ _

__Pipe: it's nice to meet you but it's FOUR AM GO TO SLEEEEEEEP_ _

__Beantown: time is irrelevant when you are immortal_ _

__Pinechild: got that right_ _

__Pinechild: i'm thalia, an immortal hunter of artemis_ _

__Pinechild: i'll be 15 until i die :)_ _

__Beantown: i'm sixteen till i die haha_ _

__Pinechild: ...i'm like a few days from being sixteen and i was turned into a tree for years so i'm supposed to be 20 something_ _

__Beantown: i'm still older for eternity_ _

__Pinechild: dude we can literally be friends after the rest of these guys die_ _

__Beantown: and we will forever look better and younger than them_ _

__Deathchild: i-_ _

__Deathchild: this is why you don't let immortal and dead people have phones_ _

__Annie: Okay you can't just plan to spend eternity talking to each other after we die_ _

__Pinechild: i'm like your sister and he's your cousin sooooo_ _

__Beantown: oh that's you!_ _

__Beantown: annabeth told me about you this is so cool_ _

__Beantown: don't blame me for not connecting the dots it's early_ _

__Pinechild: oh yeah we are definitely going to get along_ _

__Beantown: as long as we shall last_ _

__Pinechild: until death do us part_ _

__Annie: maybe this wasn't such a good idea_ _

__Seachild: tbh ever since apollo meg leo and calypso left its kinda been boring_ _

__Seachild: whattup magnus_ _

__Beantown: yo percy_ _

__Deathchild: they just left twelve hours ago_ _

__Deathchild: not even a full day ago_ _

__Seachild: okay but like... it was kinda fun to mess with apollo_ _

__Beantown: why are you messing with a god??_ _

__Seachild: uh because we can_ _

__Mcshizzle: OHHHHHH_ _

__Deathchild: how the fuck are you texting_ _

__Mcshizzle: had to come back for my toothbrush_ _

__Blondchild: fucking idiot_ _

__Mcshizzle: hello to you too ;)_ _

__Mcshizzle: while i'm still here HI ANNABETHS DEAD COUSIN IM LEO_ _

__Beantown: are you all going to rub the fact that i'm dead in my face or like..._ _

__Blondchild: i'm jason_ _

__Beantown: and i am also blond_ _

__Blondchild: OH MY GODS FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE WHO'S ALSO BLOND_ _

__Annie: ..._ _

__Sunnyboy: ..._ _

__Blondchild: OH MY GODS FINALLY SOMEONE NEW WHO'S ALSO BLOND_ _

__Sunnyboy: i'm will son of apollo_ _

__Beantown: healing power gang_ _

__Sunnyboy: finally someone else with healing powers_ _

__Seachild: ok tbh magnus... the first time you faced some life threatening thing you died so..._ _

__Beantown: how was i supposed to know that falling off a bridge would kill me???_ _

__Beantown: okay in retrospect it sounds bad but in other circumstances it shouldn't have killed me_ _

__Seachild: *smirks*_ _

__Deathchild: why did you write *smirks*_ _

__Seachchild: because how else are you all supposed to know i smirked??_ _

__Deathchild: just send a :) and be done with it_ _

__Seachild: but it's not a smirk_ _

__Deathchild: but it's intimidating_ _

__Seachild: >:) is intimidating and =) is just scary then <3 is too happy/ lovey bleh and :I is kinda weird_ _

__Deathchild: ..._ _

__Deathchild: :I_ _


	19. Chapter 19

KEEP IT PG  
Friday @ 8:00 am

Beantown: so turns out a child of frey can actually get sick and die pretty quickly

Beantown: huh

Beantown: ...

Beantown: you know what 

_Beantown added Cheetah to KEEP IT PG_

Beantown: i was lonely

Cheetah: why is this my name

Beantown: because you ran over my foot in the form of a cheetah when we first met and it's your fault i have this nickname

Cheetah: no that's the rest of the floor's fault

Cheetah: i just stole the name

Beantown: your fault

Cheetah: don't blame me if jack mysteriously disappears one day and can'r fight your battles for you

Beantown: jack likes me better

Cheetah: i'm pretty sure he likes tj's bayonet better but

Beantown: oh my gods don't remind me

Beantown: he was on a date yesterday with it

Beantown: left me all alone AND it was a dragons day

Cheetah: so that's why you died faster than before

Beantown: kill the medic and they all die

Cheetah: are you gonna tell me what this is or...

Beantown: you remember my cousin annabeth

Beantown: these are the rest of her demigodly friends

Beantown: at least some of them

Cheetah: oh yeah annabeth

Cheetah: are they all asleep or something??

Beantown: probably

Cheetah: then why aren't you asleep

Cheetah: for someone who's an decent doctor you get no sleep

Cheetah: it's really frightening

Beantown: aw you care about me

Cheetah: you wish

Beantown: :(

Cheetah: sleep for at least an hour or something

Beantown: we wake up after dying does that count?

Beantown: if so i've gotten an hour of sleep

Cheetah: ...

Beantown: :)

Cheetah: i will kill you if it means you get to sleep

Beantown: going to sleep now

Cheetah: incredible

Cheetah: my work here is done


	20. Chapter 20

KEEP IT PG  
Friday @ 9:08 am

Pipe: i have so many questions

Pipe: cheetah??

Pipe: someone on a date with a bayonet??

Pipe: dragons??

Pipe: HUH

Cheetah: yo

Cheetah: as a child of loki i can transform into animals

Transformer: ME TOO

Cheetah: wait really

Cheetah: sweet my sister can too

Cheetah: this is gonna be so cool

Transformer: We have to meet

Transformer: I'm Frank btw but I'm in New Rome right now

Cheetah: alex 

Cheetah: but that would be cool

Pipe: that's nice and all, but answers??

Cheetah: okay jack is magnus' sword that talks

Cheetah: it used to be frey's but he gave it up for love and now he'll die without it but meh

Cheetah: and every thursday we fight dragons to the death

Cheetah: to prepare for the end of the world where we will all die

Pipe: wow

Pipe: okay

Cheetah: yup it's fun

Beantown: fun is a nice word for it

Beantown: what's not fun is the fact that jack finds every 'lady sword' hot

Seachild: i was flattered to know the riptide is hot but...

Seachild: jack is weird

Beantown: tell me about it

Sunnyboy: yeah dad has an arrow that talks in old english but he's the only one who can hear it

Sunnyboy: speaking about dad...

Sunnyboy: your dad's name is frey?

Beantown: yeah from norse mythology

Deathchild: wait he wouldn't happen to be all like, sunshiny and stuff would he

Beantown: uh yeah i guess

Pipe: wait

Sunnyboy: this is going to sound so weird

Sunnyboy: but i think my dad thinks your dad is hot

Beantown: ...

Deathchild: THE PICTURE SEND THE PICTURE

Sunnyboy: apolloslist.jpg 

Sunnyboy: he drew sketches of all the people he thought were hot and labeled them

Beantown: THAT'S MY DAD

Pipe: HKSHJKFKD

Wisegirl: ...

Cheetah: WOW

Beantown: UH

Beantown: okay tbh it looks really good

Sunnyboy: he really can draw well

Beantown: yeah BUT STILL

Seachild: BAHAHA

Seachild: life

Deathchild: death

Blondchild: one and the same

Seachld: epic 

Annie: We have three Apollos now

Pipe: yikes 

Seachild: im a poet and you know it

Blondchild: boom psho boom boom psho

Blondchild: ooooo

Pipe: ew

Deathchild: no longer a part of this

Seachild: yo we need a band

Transformer: yesss

Blondchild: think an electric guitar would work with my powers?

Seachild: i mean... electricity 

Annie: I'm not sure that's how it works but...

Blondchild: it is now

Seachild: :)

Seachild: kdak;ldlafjkvkf dkafjdkndkjafjavnfjruanjdn fkl k;afkafdfjvdbdbaeuow jia nv ioadkim kcdsn jkakfjie

Seachild: I'M BORED

Seachild: I HATE THE SATS

Seachild: STUDYING SUCKS

Annie: I don't even know why I have to study english if I want to be an architect 

Deathchild: you know it's serious when even annabeth doesn't want to do it

Annie: I don't like studying :(

Pipe: who does lmao

Beantown: hah

Beantown: losers you have school

Cheetah: haven't gone to school for years

Beantown: never going again

Beantown: knowledge is unneeded forever :)

Seachild: shut up

Seachild: dont flaunt your death

Beantown: gotta live somehow 

Beantown: hold up let me rephrase that

Beantown: gotta live my death somehow

Beantown: yeah that works

Seachild: close enough

Seachild: BUT AHHHHHHHHHH

Seachild: it's math that's the hard part

Seachild: ive never understood graphs

Seachild: or linear equations

Seachild: ...or anything else

Pipe: it's so confusing and for what????

Seachild: EXACTLY

Seachild: NEVER GOING TO USE IT

Annie: You'll need it for college

Seachild: i wont need it after college

Pipe: exactly

Annie: ...

Annie: But you need it now?

Seachild: uhhhhhhggggg


	21. Chapter 21

KEEP IT PG  
Saturday @ 7:09 am

Pipe: UH

Pipe: haha

Pipe: ...

Deathchild: ...yes??

Pipe: awhachamacallit 

Deathchild: ...

Deathchild: i'm out

Pipe: sigh

Pipe: no one gets my humor

Deathchild: maybe if it made sense...

Pipe: THE POINT IS FOR IT TO BE RANDOM AND NOT MAKE SENSE

Deathchild: bleh

Pipe: no you don't bleh me

Annie: A watch it

Annie: Huh

Pipe: it's awhachamacallit :)

Annie: Agua

Annie: I have no clue where that came from

Annie: Auto correct

Pipe: that's why you t u r n i t o f f

Annie: N O

Annie: Grammar is a jerk

Annie: But an important one

Deathchild: don't use grammar

Deathchild: if you don't know it's spelled wrong then it isn't

Deathchild: boom

Annie: When will you learn

Annie: That your actions have consequences

Deathchild: never

Deathchild: living on straight line is boring

Deathchild: also impossible at the rate of demigod lives

Deathchild: also we have dyslexia 

Deathchild: i live off of autocorrect ig

Deathchild: i can't spell for the life of me without it

Deathchild: i also hate the person who named it

Pipe: live it up 

Ourchild: I mean...

Ourchild: He sort-of has a point?

Ourchild: Kinda?

Deathchild: everyone agrees

Annie: You contradicted yourself...

Annie: BUT THAT'S HOW YOU THINK FOR ALMOST EVERYTHING

Sunnyboy: you know nico...

Sunnyboy: with that thought process i could switch your mcdonalds burger to a black bean burger without you knowing...

Annie: Smart

Sunnyboy: high compliment

Deathchild: HUH NO

Deathchild: MY THOUGHT PROCESS ONLY APPLIES TO ME MYSELF AND I

Deathchild: that's what we aren't gonna do

Deathchild: leave my baby alone

Pipe: can we take a minute to appreciate how alike Nico and Percy are

Pipe: i mean... both have children that aren't children that their partners don't like...

Deathchild: i can actually hold my child

Seachild: nemos stuck in a screen :'( 

Seachild: and its not my fault annabeth wont let me get a dog 

Annie: You have Ms. O'Leary 

Seachild: she likes nico better :'(

Deathchild: it's really only cause i can go wherever with her :)

Seachild: and i couldn't name her :'(

Seachild: nemo is hjdajajlkkj so tiny 

Seachild: I WANT FISHHHHH

Blondhild: then go to the ocean...

Seachild: or i could raid a petco and then release all the fish 

Seachild: wait theyd die from temperature change

Seachild: i could raid a petco and buy a HUGE tank and let the fish swim around and be friends 

Deathchild: i worry for you

Seachild: i worry for me too 

Seachild: but worry no longer for i have a great plan

Seachild: i call it the percy is awesome plan

Annie: I doubt we're surprised at this point

Seachild: shhhhh

Seachild: okay this is a five point plan to get me out of my cabin that someone locked me in >:(

Seachild: not naming names or anything *cough* *cough* rachel 

Seachild: she says hi btw

Pipe: RACHEL locked you in your cabin???

Seachild: i'd leave if i wasn't so scared of her

Seachild: she'd cover me in paint with no regrets

Annie: She said that in order to get studying done he'd need few distractions

Annie: At this point I'm letting him do whatever

Seachild: aha so i have permission :) perfect

Annie: ...

Seachild: STEP ONE

Seachild: nico shadowtravels here

Deathchild: on it

Seachild: but you didn't hear the rest of the steps :(

Seachild: oop hes here

Seachild: ANYWAYS step two he shadowtravels me out 

Seachild: step three i celebrate my newfound freedom

Seachild: step four i hide from rachel because she can probably predict what i just did

Seachild: step five i run around so she can't keep up

Seachild: step six she gives up and im free :) 

Pipe: that's six points

Seachild: step six is a maybe

Seachild: we are hoping it is possible

Annie: By we you mean you... right?

Seachild: YUUUUP

Seachild: onto step three :D

Deathchild: i'm out before rachel comes

Deathchild: good luck

Seachild: :D


	22. Chapter 22

KEEP IT PG  
Saturday @ 3:23 pm

_Seachild changed Transformer to Frankly ___

__Seachild: i think this gives off his persona a teeeeensy bit more_ _

__Seachild: adds that needed flare_ _

__Seachild: ya know wat im sayin_ _

__Pinechild: hideous_ _

__Seachild: *gasp*_ _

__Seachild: uhg i'm hurt_ _

__Seachild: my own cousin bullies me for ~grammar~_ _

__Pinechild: to be honest the name isn't terrible..._ _

__Seachild: i feel like theres a but_ _

__Pinechild: BUT if you can come up with that how come the rest of the names are unoriginal_ _

__Seachild: i'm sorry i just am not creative enough to produse such fine names for you needy pesants_ _

__Seachild: needy pesants_ _

__Seachild: peasants_ _

__Seachild: you are all needy peasants :)_ _

__Seachild: needy peanuts_ _

__Seachild: ooo peanuts like charlie brown_ _

__Seachild: he has that dog right?_ _

__Pinechild: ... snoopy?_ _

__Seachild: i like snoopy_ _

__Seachild: he's so cute and funny_ _

__Seachild: I LOVE WATCHING WOODCHUCK TYPE FOR SNOOPY ON HIS LITTLE TYPEWRITER_ _

__Seachild: uh oops_ _

__Seachild: got a little...... off topic_ _

__Pinechild: incredible_ _

__Deathchild: one of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second_ _

__Seachild: how could i possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this -.-_ _

__Deathchild: perfect_ _

__Deathchild: my life is complete_ _

__Deathchild: see you in hell_ _

__Deathchild: :)_ _

__Seachild: HUH_ _

__Seachild: you can't just go to the underworld because your life is complete_ _

__Seachild: even if this is the best time to go_ _

__Pinechild: How is what you're adding helping_ _

__Seachild: idk \\(._.)/_ _

__Deathchild: wise words_ _

__Deathchild: i might just listen_ _

__Seachild: see i am very convinsing_ _

__Deathchild: you wish_ _

__Seachild: i do :)_ _

__Deathchild: uhg_ _

__Deathchild: you ruin my minor insults_ _

__Seachild: i know and im fabulous doing it too_ _

__Deathchild: sure percy_ _

__Frankly: ..._ _

__Frankly: Amazing name_ _

__Seachild: ah thank you_ _

__Frankly: Tbh it's better than some names you could come up with_ _

__Seachild: :)_ _

__Seachild: ~frankfurter~_ _

__Frankly: Yeah like that_ _

__Pipe: FRANKFURTER_ _

__Pipe: BAHAHA_ _

__Annie: I love that_ _

__Seachild: OOOOO HOW ABOUT_ _

__Seachild: Frankthetank_ _

__Frankly: ..._ _

__Ourchild: He's wheezing at the moment_ _

__Seachild: ah the joy of making frank laugh_ _

__Seachild: such a treasure that we cannot see :(_ _


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> piper and jason...

_Private conversation_  
Sunday @ 9:24 am

Pipe: hey

Blondchild: hey

Pipe: sooo we haven't really been talking lately

Blondchild: yeah

Blondchild: we haven't really

Pipe: yeah

Blondchild: yeah

Pipe: this is kinda awkward, right?

Blondchild: yup

Blondchild: but i think we're thinking the same thing

Pipe: yeah probably

Blondchild: soooo friends?

Pipe: bestfriends forever

Blondchild: cool cool

Blondchild: is this going to be weird now and stuff?

Pipe: i mean, it might?

Pipe: but we don't have to make it weird

Blondchild: okay good

Blondchild: i didn't want anything to be like, left unsaid? 

Blondchild: it's just i felt us getting together was kinda rushed

Pipe: yeah same

Pipe: also the memory altering thing was annoying

Pipe: it kinda made everything feel fake

Blondchild: yeah

Blondchild: and kinda loose

Pipe: but i still really like you, just not in the same way

Blondchild: same more like in a platonic way

Pipe: OOOOO

Blondchild: yeah?

Pipe: we can be ~platonic soulmates~

Blondchild: what about percy and leo :(

Pipe: eh make them your platonic something else

Pipe: there is no way i'm letting them take my spot

Blondchild: :(

Blondchild: now i have to go break the news to percy that he can no longer be my platonic soulmate

Pipe: ha

Pipe: loser

Blondchild: uhg he's going to be heartbroken

Pipe: updates jay 

Pipe: give me updates 

_Seachild added Blondchild, Pipe, and Annie to NO_

NO  
Sunday @9:36 am

Seachild: UH NO

Seachild: HOW DARE YOU

Seachild: PIPER YOU CANT REPLACE ME

Pipe: loooooooooser

Seachild: I WONT STAND FOR THIS

Seachild: JASON YOU CANT DO THIS

Blondchild: sorry percy what's done is done

Seachild: SO WHAT AM I THEN

Annie: Somehow extremely loud over text

Seachild: annabethhhhh jason said we arent platonic soulmates anymore

Seachild: that's just mean

Annie: ...

Annie: Wow

Pipe: i have taken his place :)

Pipe: also jason and i broke up

Blondchild: but we're on good terms and stuff

Pipe: hence platonic soulmates

Seachild: but that's my jobbbbbb

Annie: Oh wow

Annie: At least you're on good terms

Blondchild: it would be stupid to just be jerks to each other since there is no reason to

Blondchild: mutual agreement

Pipe: yup

Seachild: ...

Seachild: sad

Seachild: but there are other matters

Seachild: it seems you have taken care of that one 

Seachild: so why don't we focus on this one

Seachild: annabeth can be pipers platonic soulmate and i can be jasons

Seachild: boom

Pipe: ORRRRR

Pipe: we just all be each others

Seachild: i dont share :)

Pipe: dammit jackson >:(

Annie: You made the compromise rather difficult now 

Blondchild: alas i have too many people waiting to court me 

Blondnchild: i could just make leo my platonic soulmate

Pipe: but but

Pipe: but he's off on a dragon somewhere

Seachild: uhg fine ill share

Pipe: yay! 

Seachild: out of the goodness of my heart

Seachild: consider this your first and last percy favor

Pipe: that sounds like a threat

Seachild: honey ive turned down gods before i can threaten whoever i so choose

Pipe: you... turned down... 

Pipe: you know what, am i surprised?

Annie: I should hope not

Blondchild: i'd be truly worried for you if you were

Pipe: aw heartwarming

Seachild: no one matches my personality :)

Seachild: lets hope no one does

Seachild: that would be weird for anyone but me

Seachild: i would love to meet a second me

Blondchild: it would be so cool to have an identical clone

Annie: I'd love that

Annie: Another me to talk about buildings with

Annie: Since no one else here cares about them

Seachild: i understand them as much as you understand the ocean

Annie: fair point

Pipe: doesn't hurt to wish

Pipe: i myself would use a clone to do my schoolwork >:)

Pipe: i would kill to not have to go to school

Seachild: you know i think nico doesnt go to school

Blondchild: he what

Pipe: lucky

Pipe: uhg

Blondchild: brb

Pipe: aw just add him here so we can see it too

_Blondchild added Deathchild to NO_

Pipe: hiiiii nico

_Deathchild kicked Deathchild from NO_

Annie: byeeeee nico

_Blondchild added Deathchild to NO_

Blondchild: so it has come to my attention that someone does not attend school

Deathchild: uh yeah?

Blondchild: are you getting an education?

Deathchild: haha nope

Blondchild: and why is that

Deathchild: cause i dont want to

Pipe: uhg i wish i had nico's snarkiness

Deathchild: thanks?

Blondchild: what are you going to do without at least getting a small amount of education

Deathchild: live then die and become a god

Blondchild: ....

Deathchild: you all are welcome to join me

Seachild: my mom would kill me if i dropped out

Seachild: i'd be deader than a dead person

Annie: What symbolism

Pipe: incredible

Blondchild: you three aren't helping

Deathchild: anyways you good with my answers?

Deathchild: cause i'm going back to bed

Blondchild: noooo stay with us

Deathchild: goodnight

Seachild: its morning

Deathchild: its early as fuck

Deathchild: talk to me at twelve or something idk 

Deathchild: GOODNIGHT

Pipe: aw

Pipe: :(

Seachild: neeeeeks

Deathchild: it should be a crime to call me that

Deathchild: actually tho i'm shutting my phone off so bye

Pipe: byeeeee

Seachild: adios amigo

Blondchild: we'll talk more later

Deathchild: sure mom

Seachild: *gasp* our little jason has become a mother

Pipe: i call cool aunt

Annie: Where does that leave me?

Pipe: cool aunt 2.0?

Annie: Why not

Seachild: chill uncle :)

Blondchild: ...

Blondchild: in all honesty i am completely unfit to be a parent

Pipe: jay, you have the most mom energy that i have ever faced

Annie: I have to agree with Piper on this one 

Seachild: YUP

Blondchild: i-

Seachild: you also went completely mother mode on nico 

Seachild: its a wonder you didnt enroll him in a school right then and there

Pipe: yeah

Pipe: what are the odds he's looking at schools for nico

Blondchild: ...

Pipe: WAIT YOU ARE

Blondchild: just checking the area

Annie: Jason

Blondchild: Annabeth

Annie: And you say you aren't the mom of our wonderful group?

Blondchild: fine 

Blondchild: i'm the mom

Seachild: uhg my heart

Pipe: i know

Pipe: little jason in a big world

Pipe: already a single mother to a load of teenagers with mommy and daddy issues

Seachild: im crying

Blondchild: i am not dealing with all of your parental issues 

Blondchild: i have my own to deal with

Seachild: name a demigod without parental issues that youre close with

Blondchild: uh

Pipe: exactly

Annie: Wait that's kind of sad

Annie: We really all have parent issues

Seachild: okay i dont really have any now but i did before

Pipe: nah it still counts

Pipe: issues are issues are issues

Seachild: fair enough

Pipe: HEY MOM

Blondchild: there is no way i am answering to mom

Seachild: technically you just did

Annie: He's right

Pipe: mother we need food

Seachild: im starving

Blondchild: ... get your own

Pipe: but thats not as fun

Seachild: PICNIC IN MY CABIN

Seachild: plssss

Pipe: yessss

Pipe: so down

Annie: Same

Blondchild: i hate you all 

Seachild: meh 

Seachild: thats your problem then 

Seachild: we are the most loveable people on the planet earth

Annie: We are 

Pipe: you're missing out on some amazing people 

Blondchild: how do you guys make hating you so hard

Annie: We are skill in the art of getting people to like us

Pipe: also got that aphrodite charm ;) 

Blondchild: fair

Blondchild: i guess i'm on my way then

Seachild: thank the gods

Seachild: uhg im starvinggg

Annie: you should have eaten before then 

Seachild: but i wasnt hungry then

Pipe: its a simple science 

Annie: You are all impossible


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> leo comes back and chaos endures :) 
> 
> also mice come into the story for some reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all! i know its been like a week or more (i dont remember) so i welcome myself back into the world of writing stupid stuff :)
> 
> so i took the 'who is you godly parent' test again (the last time i did was many years ago). i used to be a child of athena but now i'm a child of apollo. i was kinda confused until i looked back and remembered...
> 
> i play multiple instruments (clarinet, tenor sax, guitar, and a bit of piano), i do theater, i know a ton of things about medicine because my dad worked in the medical field, i'm EXTREMELY dramatic *which i wouldn't say is a trait but it goes back to i do theater*, and i write poems and songs all the time...
> 
> so i guess it makes more sense, but who would have thought?

_Mcshizzle changed KEEP IT PG to IM BACK BICHEZ_

IM BACK BICHEZ  
Monday @ 2:48 am

Mcshizzle: yo whats up

Ourchild: Well that's not very pg of you

Mcshizzle: it's not spelled correctly so its fine :)

Ourchild: I'm not sure that's how it works...

Mcshizzle: wow what a welcome

Mcshizzle: i return from almost dying to our lovely chat to say hello

Mcshizzle: and all i get is judgement :(

Ourchild: Ily?

Mcshizzle: AWW THANKS

Annie: Wouldn't be the first time with that almost dying part

Blondchild: leo... why aren't you asleep

Blondchild: it's two am

Blondchild: and how are you talking?? are you back at camp??

Mchshizzle: "leo im so happy to see you!"

Mcshizzle: "leo we all missed you and couldnt stand living without you!"

Mcshizzle: "im so grateful that you found a way to talk to us even though you aren't at camp!"

Mcshizzle: AW JACE i MISSED YOU TOO GLAD YOU CARE ABOUT ME

Blondchild: ...

Blondchild: hello leo we missed speaking with you

Mcshizzle: THERE IT IS

Mcshizzle: ah friendship

Seachild: dude how do you have this much energy in the middle of the night

Mchizzle: is no one going to say how much they missed me without me telling them to??

Seachild: hah good luck with that

Mcshizzle: fair enough

Mcshizzle: to answer your accusations ehem im in this demigod safety place

Mcshizzle: turns out monsters cant find this place and boy this lady is a mechanical genius

Mcshizzle: got the internet up and running with me in less than an hour

Mcshizzle: also it's not as late here since we are in indiana

Mcshizzle: sooooooooooo im not tired 

Blondchild: ...fair enough?

Pipe: hksjfkafhjkadf im tired

Pipe: hi leo

Mcshizzle: uhg finally someone who acknowledges me presence 

Mcshizzle: my* whatever 

Pipe: me presence hehe

Mchsizzle: shut up it was an honest mistake with this tiny keyboard

Pipe: you made the phones tho

Mcshizzle: shushhhhh

Mcshizzle: if you guys are tired just s l e e p

Mcshizzle: dont blame me for staying up at this 'ungodly hour'

Mcshizzle: although im sure apollo wouldn't agree

Mcshizzle: the dude stays up till like five am and wakes up at twelve

Mcshizzle: i really think he's trying to make up for all the time he had to BE dawn

Seachild: couldnt be me

Annie: You've tried to go three days without sleep you can't be talking

Seachild: it was for science

Seachild: i thought you of all people would appreciate that

Sunnyboy: why would you go three days without sleep

Seachild: to be fair it was two and a half days with no sleep but annabeth made me take melatonin gummies because i hate pills 

Mcshizzle: pills suck 

Mcshizzle: like when theyre chalky and get stuck and you cant get the taste out of your mouth ew

Seachild: RIGHT

Sunnyboy: genuinely worried about your health at this point

Pipe: thats why you are a doctor 

Pipe: so you can help them get their acts back together

Sunnyboy: well i'm nicer than some of my siblings when it comes to 'trying things for science' 

Sunnyboy: kayla hated healing the stolls' victims 

Sunnyboy: and especially now the new kid's pranks

Sunnyboy: so watch out

Seachild: then why are you up?

Sunnyboy: uh we'll talk about that at a different time

Pipe: let me guess

Sunnyboy: no?

Pipe: science?

Seachild: well well well

Seachild: how the tables have turned

Sunnyboy: well my reason is reasonable

Sunnyboy: i'm looking for healing plants for the infirmary since they're out

Pipe: becauseeeeeee

Sunnyboy: ...

Sunnyboy: because i can't sleep?

Seachild: fair enough

Annie: well i can so goodnight

Mcshizzle: rude :(

Annie: :)

Seachild: goodnight <3

Annie: <3

Deathchild: ew 

Deathchild: affection 

Sunnyboy: i love you :)

Deathchild: bleh

Deathchild: yuck

Sunnyboy: <3 <3

Pipe: aw nico why dont you love love?

Deathchild: its overrated 

Mcshizzle: thats a mood

Deathchild: stay away all of you

Pipe: im sure we could change your view on loveeeeee

Deathchild: three am is a dangerous hour goodbye

Sunnyboy: :( 

Deathchild: uhggggg fine 

Deathchild: goodnight will i love you

Sunnyboy: :)

Seachild: AW

Pipe: AWWWWW

Deathchild: i hate everyone else

Ourchild: :(

Deathchild: hjfdkafhk goodnight hazel 

Deathchild: i love you

Ourchild: Love you too <333

Seachild: AW 

Seachild: my sister cant say she loves me yet :(

Ourchild: Ha looser

Seachild: uncalled for 

Blondchild: my sister doesn't talk to me

Pinechild: uh yes i do

Blondchild: spamming my phone doesn't count

Pinechild: well what else do you want me to sayyyy

Pinechild: hey little bro! how ya doin! didya eat your fruits and veggies? 

Blondchild: no...

Seachild: by spamming you mean...

Blondchild: documentary of her life

Blondchild: i do not care that you ate a whole pizza by yourself 

Blondchild: or that you found a mouse and named him chuck

Pinechild: I MISS CHUCK

Pinechild: they wouldn't let me bring him :(

Seachild: impressive

Pinechild: someone appreciates me

Seachild: mice are cute

Mcshizzle: no they fucking arent

Mcshizzle: little demons skitter around trying to steal my food

Mcshizzle: NOT TODAY

Seachild: THEY ARE CUTE

Pinechild: YES

Blondchild: i have to agree with leo

Mcshizzle: YUP

Seachild: babymice.jpeg

Seachild: TELL ME THATS NOT CUTE

Blondchild: its not cute

Mcshizzle: nope

Pinechild: THEY ARE SO SMALL AND TINY AND ANGELS

Mcshizzle: did i not just say they are demons??

Mcshizzle: THEY EAT EVERYTHING AND BREED LIKE CRAZY 

Mcshizzle: INFESTING YOUR HOUSE

Blondchild: they can carry diseases 

Seachild: and?

Blondchild: and they're dangerous

Pinechild: BUT THEYRE CUTE

Blondchild: BUT THEY CAN MAKE YOU SICK

Seachild: THEN DONT GET SICK

Mcshizzle: THAT MAKES NO SENSE

Pipe: mice are cute 

Seachild: THANK YOU

Pinechild: YES

Blondchild: WHY ARENT YOU AGREEING WITH US

Mcshizzle: WE WERE LITERALLY YOUR FIRST FRIENDS

Pipe: i had other friends they just didnt happen to be demigods and go on crazy quests with me

Mcshizzle: im hurt

Sunnyboy: those things are dangerous

Sunnyboy: jason's right they carry diseases like hantavirus, salmonella, and lymphocytic choriomeningitis through their waste

Blondchild: im smart

Pinechild: nerd

Blondchild: but im right

Mcshizzle: AND THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS ITS TIED ONCE MORE

Seachild: but MICE ARE ADORABLE WHO CARES

Pipe: YUP THEY LOOK SO CUTE 

Pinechild: hjskf.jpeg

Pinechild: cutiesss.jpeg

Sunnyboy: you're all hopeless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i did do research on mice carrying diseases for this


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> literally conversations with my dear friends whom i love wholeheartedly despise when they defy the simple principals of logic
> 
> i am jason, annabeth, nico, and magnus all rolled into one. the mom friend, the smart friend, the gay 'emo', and the doctor friend.
> 
> now all i need is to be raised by wolves, an invisibility cap, a partner who is my polar opposite, and a sword that can sing shake it off while fighting my enemies.

IM BACK BICHEZ  
Monday @ 11:45 pm

Deathchild: i have gained the knowledge that there is a difference between being smart and common sense 

Deathchild: and it is shocking

Mcshizzle: you can know that eating that cotton candy stuff in the walls is probably not good for you but you still are tempted to eat it 

Deathchild: that's like... not even the same thing

Mcshizzle: it's smart to not eat it and common sense that it's tempting to eat 

Deathchild: im not questioning you

Deathchild: anyways i really need you guys to promise that you aren't trying to find the stupidest ways to die

Deathchild: at this rate monsters will never get the chance to kill you

Seachild: i didnt do anything

Beantown: i feel like i should be worried that you all are my cousin's friends... but i can attest that the not cotton candy stuff is tempting to eat

Beantown: it's not worth it

Mcshizzle: uhg its not fair that you got to try it

Beantown: being dead means i constantly one up living people

Mcshizzle: i was dead once

Mcshizzle: but no one brought me to a magical place where i can constantly die for fun

Beantown: loser 

Deathchild: don't hate on my dads kingdom like that or you'll never get in

Mcshizzle: well then bitch im immortal 

Pinechild: haha no i'm immortal

Pinechild: stunning and immortal

Beantown: i'm living a second life at the same age until i die for real, but i end up being killed almost every day so i mean... kinda immortal?

Mcshizzle: dying has got to get boring

Cheetah: depends on the way you die

Cheetah: it's never boring when you play lottery to the death

Beantown: don't get me started on the sore losers

Deathchild: i'd like to say that elysium is better...

Deathchild: but other than than the fact that no one kills each other it's just an immortal chaos 

Seachild: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

Deathchild: wtf does that mean

Seachild: idk 

Sunnyboy: pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a word that refers to a lung disease contracted from the inhalation of very fine silica particles, specifically from a volcano; medically, it is the same as silicosis

Sunnyboy: did you even read the word or did you just search it up

Seachild: long words are funny

Seachild: you had to have looked up the definition anyways soooo

Deathchild: don't question it don't question it don't question it don't question it

Seachild: and it has volcano in it

Annie: It had parts of the definition in it as well

Beantown: are you studying a word??

Seachild: yes

Sunnyboy: i really don't know

Sunnyboy: slow day at the infirmary so i'll take what i can get

Seachild: you have to be the dumbest person in the whole frickin world to name the fear of large words hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

Mcshizzle: hippo

Annie: Helpful input Leo

Mcshizzle: and that was leos daily tidbits

Mcshizzle: told by leo for all the little leos in the world

Deathchild: we do not need a bunch of little yous running around spouting nonsense

Mcshizzle: the 'nonsense' you speak of is just words that your tiny head cant get around tsk tsk

Deathchild: your shorter than me

Mcshizzle: and bigger headed :)

Blondchild: break it up 

Deathchild: aw but it was getting good

Mcshizzle: psh

_Mcshizzle kicked Blondchild from IM BACK BICHEZ_

Mcshizzle: oh yeah i should change the name ha

Annie: poor jason

Seachild: kicked out by his own children 

Deathchild: i don't see anyone adding him back

Pipe: heheh

_Pipe added Blonchild to IM BACK BICHEZ_

_Pipe changed IM BACK BICHEZ to Jason's children_

Blondchild: disappointed and not amused 

Seachild: uh that was what i called this first but with my name >:(

_Seachild changed Jason's children to jason's younglings_

Pipe: ah yes much more refined 

Mcshizzle: since when did we become his children

Pipe: since he became the mom friend

Blondchild: i did not sign up for this 

Seachild: what DID we sign up for at this point :)

Annie: Mhm

Frankly: Whats up with you guys talking at night??

Seachild: whats up with you not talking to us??

Frankly: I can't when the only time you talk is TWELVE AM

Deathchild: to be fair time is relative 

Annie: But we have made time such a fundamental part of society that we cannot function properly without it

Deathchild: society is a social construct 

Deathchild: the only reason we depend on it is because of feelings 

Deathchild: erase feelings and boom its everyone for themselves 

Mcshizzle: i like how you think death boy

Annie: I'm not sure it works like that

Seachild: but you dont know that it wont work

Annie: ...

Frankly: Moving on from whatever that is

Frankly: Whats up

Seachild: nothing is up because life is meaningless and we are all stuck here doing the gods bidding for eternity 

Blondchild: anything that is not on the ground

Deathchild: there are two types of people

Seachild: i hate you all for ruining my depressing thoughts

Annie: Leo and Nico are bickering, Magnus died by eating insulation once and Leo is jealous, we named big words, Leo and Nico 'fought' and then kicked Jason out, we named Jason our mom, you came in and asked why we talk so late, and Percy is a depressed poet.

Seachild: all in a days work

Frankly: Forget I asked

Seachild: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJSSSSSSSSSSAKHAFDJKHFJKDSFHJKDS bleh 

Pipe: percy has an amazing way with words

Pipe: it's an art

Deathchild: truly incredible

Ourchild: I've never seen anything quite like it

Seachild: yes yes thank you

Blondchild: *looks at the camera* my children everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i'm late but happy holidays all! it's also almost new years so there is that. i can't believe 2021 is so soon! 
> 
> i want to say magnus and alex were gone for a reason... but i forgot about them? and now i feel bad? because they are literally my favorites? haha yeah


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> petty sibling fights are the most common types of fights that end up with everyone loving each other anyways no matter how much they deny it

_jason's younglings_  
Tuesday @ 3:24 pm

Seachild: i feel old

Pinechild: okay?

Pinechild: that's a you problem

Seachild: why am i so oldddd

Annie: Because you didn't choose immortality 

Seachild: hnggg

Seachild: might have to take that choice up again

Pipe: i hate you

Seachild: i beg your pardon

Pipe: i hate everyone

Pipe: and everything

Pipe: except tv tv is good

Pipe: uhhhhggggg 

Pipe: the world hates me

Sunnyboy: well, it seems that it is you who hates the world

Pipe: >:(

Sunnyboy: i take back my statement

Seachild: what drove you to this state

Pipe: >:( >:( >:( 

Blondchild: frightening

Pipe: feel my wrath 

Annie: It's days like these that I wonder if I am truly real, or just a figment of someone's imagination

Pipe: you're the only tolerable person here 

Annie: Definitely a figment of someone's imagination

Seachild: aren't we all

Pipe: annie lets go to starbucks :((

Annie: Cursed be the one who can properly drive 

Pipe: :) <3 <3 <3

Seachild: dang

Pipe: i love you guys again

Pipe: just needed someone to yell at

Pipe: drew said 'yelling is a form of escapism'

Blondchild: since when do you listen to drew?

Pipe: since she showed me the perfect ways to hide weapons when you're wearing a crop top and shorts

Ourchild: Reasonable

Ourchild: Give me tips next time we see each other

Deathchild: hazel, i love you, but for the love of the gods if i find throwing stars in your laundry again i will be the one using pipers new form of escapism 

Deathchild: those things almost killed me

Frankly: Seconded 

Seachild: i'm sorry, again? what do you mean again??

Seachild: why do you have throwing stars in your laundry

Seachild: WHY DID FRANK AND NICO FIND WEAPONS IN YOUR LAUNDRY

Ourchild: I forgot that I left them on the floor under my shirts

Frankly: I got a cut on my finger :(

Ourchild: You have a mickey mouse band-aid on you're fine

Pipe: mickey mouse band-aids are elite 

Seachild: i'm so confused 

Seachild: can you guys give me a day without being confused??

Seachild: please??

Annie: The answer I give is yes, but what I actually mean is no. What was the question?

Seachild: huh??

Annie: answer the riddle

Seachild: ?? did you not just hear me?? like?? please?? for?? once??

Mcshizzle: OOO I KNOW THIS ONE

Blondchild: huh

Annie: don't spoil it

Pinechild: i'm so confused

Seachild: yes means no? 

Seachild: there was a question?

Blondchild: leo

Blondchild: best bud

Blondchild: bro

Blondchild: you love me, right?

Mcshizzle: sure do

Blondchild: enough to tell me the answer and not anyone else?

Mcshizzle: pshh nah i love watching you all suffer in confusion more

Blondchild: damn it

Ourchild: I want to know the answer too :(

Pinechild: i'm bored and my head hurts tell us the answer someone please

Seachild: ^^^^^^^^

Seachild: for the love of the all the gods above pleaseeee

Seachild: i don't like not knowing things that someone else knows >:(

Annie: Hold on Piper and I are leaving to get Starbucks

Annie: We'll be back in like, thirty minutes

Seachild: NOOOOO

Pinechild: WOW

Blondchild: that's cold

Pipe: hah i'll be able to get the answer

Annie: On second thought...

Annie: Fine

Annie: It's do you mind

Annie: If you say yes, it means you do mind and don't want the person to do what they are asking to do

Annie: If you say no you are giving permission

Annie: Now my phone is going to stop working once we pass the camp borders so bye

Seachild: i want to say that makes sense and im glad i have the answer but im so fucking lost dude

Mcshizzle: did you not expect a grammar riddle from annabeth?

Seachild: no it just DOESN'T MAKE SENSE that...

Seachild: shit your right never mind

Pinechild: for the record, i totally didn't yell OHHHH in the middle of the forest and scare like, half of the hunters awake

Blondchild: where even are you??

Pinechild: idk we made a quick stop in another country and it's night

Blondchild: and you... 

Pinechild: don't care because i am becoming one with nature

Pinechild: ...

Seachild: i think you've already done that

Pinechild: i didn't think about that before i pressed send

Pinechild: shut up percy

Seachild: i find this a prickly predicament 

Seachild: get it, because pine trees have needles 

Pinechild: this is why i can't make nature jokes

Pinechild: speaking of nature, where's grover??

Blondchild: *she says as she desperately tries to change the subject* 

Seachild: in california i think

Seachild: he went over to figure out what's causing the fires

Pinechild: shut up jason

Pinechild: thank you percy for being tolerable 

Blondchild: :(

Seachild: i have reached the highest level of praise known to demigod kind

Seachild: thalia's approval 

Blondchild: :((

Pinechild: yes yes no need to thank me 

Blondchild: :((((

Pinechild: yes what do you need young peasant 

Blondchild: first of all im older than you

Pinechild: i was born first

Blondchild: not the same thing but second of all how come percy gets your approval

Seachild: because i'm amazing

Pinechild: jason, you are slightly more tolerable at this moment than percy 

Blondchild: :) 

Deathchild: this is nice and all but WHO TOUCHED MY FUGHSFJCKING DOOR

Deathchild: WHOEVER MADE MY DOOR PINK IS DEAD

Ourchild: Cabin 13 needs a bit of color...

Deathchild: PINK??? 

Deathchild: PINK!!!

Seachild: chaos chaos and more chaos

Ourchild: Black and pink look good together

Deathchild: NOT AS A DOOR

Deathchild: ANYTHING INSIDE CAN BE PINK BUT NOT THE DOOR

Deathchild: ...

Deathchild: fuck

Ourchild: Anything inside you say?

Blondchild: WOW

Deathchild: NO

Deathchild: HOW DID YOU EVEN MAKE IT PINK YOURE IN CALIFORNIA

Ourchild: no no no you said anything inside

Deathchild: DONT MAKE MY POOR CABIN PINK PLEASE

Seachild: blue is always an option

Deathchild: blue will never be an option

Ourchild: I was thinking of silver, gold, and black

Deathchild: black.

Ourchild: Pleaseee let me redecorate 

Deathchild: ...will you turn the door back to black?

Ourchild: I'll message my accomplices once they return from their coffee run

Deathchild: ...

Ourchild: This can be your holiday and birthday gift to me?

Deathchild: fineeeeee

Deathchild: my poor door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! i don't know if i've done this yet, but i want to thank everyone for reading this! i'm honestly shocked that so many people actually read it. it just started out as me reading pjo texting fics at three am and wanting more of them, so i decided to start my own and now look! twenty six chapters in the span of almost four months. 
> 
> have no fear, until i run completely dry of ideas you can be sure that there will be more! also yes i stole the riddle off the internet. i'd say sue me but i don't want to get sued.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i asked my friends for chat names with them knowing nothing about percy jackson or this fic so blame them for the... strange names
> 
> i'm a sucker for family bonding (could you count this as that? maybe) so if you enjoy it too i hope you like this chapter

_jason's younglings_  
Wednesday @ 4:38 am

Blondchild: so like, what would happen if a robot happened to enter your cabin and you electrocuted it 

_Pipe changed jason's younglings to the chickalakas_

Pipe: did it blow up?

Blondchild: no

Pipe: then you're fine

Blondchild: but the metal body is just lying on the ground

Blondchild: it's scary

_Seachild changed the chickalakas to existence is futile_

Seachild: scarier than the statue of zeus in your cabin?

Blondchild: it's got human arms and legs but a robot torso and a dinosaur head

Blondchild: yeah it's scarier

_Ourchild changed existence is futile to Dino human robot is scary_

Blondchild: i've never heard a truer statement

Blondchild: it's moving

Ourchild: RIP Jason

Seachild: rip jason

Pipe: rip jason

Blondchild: someone come here

Blondchild: please

Blondchild: i'll do anything

Blondchild: HOLY SHIT 

Seachild: now now jason, swearing is a form of weak verbal skills 

Pipe: percy's right

Pipe: you are the parent here, you should be the adult

_Pipe changed Dino human robot is scary to Jason's younglings_

Seachild: ^^^

Frankly: Is Jason dead?

Ourchild: I don't think so

Seachild: oh well

Seachild: rip jason

Blondchild: you all suck

_Blondchild changed Jason's younglings to if i die thalia gets all my stuff_

Pipe: whaaaaaat

Blondchild: i'm not touching this thing

Blondchild: either someone gets it out or it inevitably kills me because i short circuited its wires

Frankly: I don't know, both options seem difficult 

Blondchild: :)

Pipe: *note the passive aggressiveness 

Pinechild: sweet

Pinechild: if you die do i get that sweatshirt back that you stole like, months ago

Blondchild: no i'd be wearing that on my death bed

Pinechild: damn

Pinechild: someone get the dino human robot or i'll wreak havoc on camp next time the hunters visit

Mcshizzle: WAIT dont kill it that might be harleys 

Mcshizzle: kid looooves his strange creations

Blondchild: then why is it in my cabin -_-

Mcshizzle: no comment

Blondchild: isweartothegodsleo

Blondchild: hhhhhhhh

Blondchild: is that the reason its calling me its mom

Mcshizzle: i plead the fifth

Annie: That just makes you tremendously guilty 

Mcshizzle: i plead the sixth?

Frankly: What is that supposed to do?

Mcshizzle: i dont know man i just need a lawyer 

Mcshizzle: i demand the right to a speedy trial before i am convicted of a crime i did not commit

Blondchild: i don't care just GET IT OUT OF MY CABIN

Annie: I'll be there in a minute

Annie: But it's so early

Annie: So give me ten

Blondchild: *frustration*

Seachild: dont worry bro shes smart

Blondchild: no, a child of athena? smart? couldn't imagine 

Seachild: i know right 

Blondchild: :I

Seachild: <3

Blondchild: why is this my life

Pipe: well you see jace, once upon a time, there was a god

Pipe: he was the god of thunder

Pipe: the god of thunder was a powerful man

Pipe: one day he met your mom

Pipe: and they did something called 'fall in love' 

Pinechild: aha yeah you are not telling my birth story

_Pinechild removed Pipe from if i die thalia gets all my stuff_

Pinechild: no sire bob

Blondchild: nope nope nope

Seachild: i'll finish the story

Seachild: well you see children, when two parents love each other very much

Seachild: they share that love

_Blondchild removed Seachild from if i die thalia gets my stuff_

Blondchild: nope nope nope

_Pinechild removed Annie, Sunnyboy, Frankly, Ourchild, Beantown, Deathchild, Cheetah, and Mcshizzle from if i die thalia gets my stuff_

Pinechild: ah sweet silence 

Blondchild: amazing

Blondchild: why didn't we do this earlier

 _Seachild added Blondchild and Pinechild to add us back :(_  
Wednesday @ 4:57 am

Seachild: hey

Seachild: hey 

Seachild: hey

Seachild: hey

Seachild: hey 

Seachild: hey

 _if i die thalia gets my stuff_  
Wednesday @ 4:58 am

Blondchild: ah

Blondchild: i see 

Pinechild: jackson

Blondchild: dont be mean

Pinechild: eh he can't see this anyways

Blondchild: if we add him back he will

Pinechild: the key word is if

 _add us back :(_  
Wednesday @ 5:00 am

Seachild: hey

Seachild: hey 

Seachild: hjahrfiabvlabvarja

Seachild: i'm bored

Seachild: hey

Seachild: pleaseeee

_Seachild added Pipe to add us back :(_

Pipe: oooo

Pipe: yo 

Seachild: yo

 _if i die thalia gets my stuff_  
Wednesday @ 5:02 am

Pinechild: those two will spam my phone with no mercy while teamed up

Pinechild: fiiiiine

Blondchild: it was nice while it lasted

_Pinechild added Annie, Sunnyboy, Frankly, Ourchild, Beantown, Deathchild, Cheetah, and Mcshizzle to if i die thalia gets my stuff_

Pinechild: you are very annoying children

Pipe: we try our best

Seachild: *wipes tear* it's so nice to be appreciated

Beantown: i don't see the point in being removed, i hardly talk here

Pinechild: you are all equally annoying

Beantown: ...you don't even know me

Pinechild: if annabeth is annoying then by default the genes carry to you

Seachild: is jason annoying?

Pinechild: he's a special kind of annoying that doesn't pass through genes therefore i am the superior grace

Blondchild: touched, truly

Beantown: would you go so far as to name yourself...

Beantown: amazing grace

Seachild: hehe good one

Pinechild: i rest my case

Beantown: i'm sorry, i had to

Annie: You aren't sorry

Beantown: no not really

Beantown: peace out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jason's not gonna die, but i can be a bad person and keep on bringing it up :) 
> 
> my only joke for him is being the mom at this point i can't even- it's because this is how my friends treat me _"MOTHER I NEED HOMEWORK HELP" "DAD SWEARING'S NOT ALLOWED"_ (they use the terms interchangeably, i'm fine with it). i mean sure, i might carry bandaids around with me 24/7 or have a snack bag whenever we hang out but...
> 
> yeah no, i'm the parent
> 
> for real though, his death broke me. it only hit me while i was reading this one fanfiction like a month ago


	28. Chapter 28

_if i die thalia gets my stuff_  
Thursday @ 3:31 pm

Pipe: i'm quirkyyyyy

Mcshizzle: hi quirkyyyyy im leo

Frankly: That's so bad

Mcshizzle: jhkjsahfk its an amazing joke what do you mean

Pipe: ew dad jokes

Mcshizzle: you dont understand humor

Frankly: You seem a bit upset. Do your socks have holes in them?

Mcshizzle: nah these are new

Frankly: Then how did you get your feet in them?

Pipe: BAHAHA YES

Mcshizzle: -_- o_o -_- o_o

Mcshizzle: im done 

Seachild: ooo he got you good

Mcshizzle: what r u talking about

Mcshizzle: you don't get a say in this waterboy

Seachild: oh yeah firehead?

Mcshizzle: you wanna go?

Seachild: idk you wanna go? 

Mcshizzle: oh its onnnn

Seachild: >:( 

Mcshizzle: >:( 

Sunnyboy: this is so extremely extra

Pipe: tell me about it

Seachild: >>:(

Mcshizzle: >:O

Ourchild: ->:D Look it's Aang 

Ourchild: That avatar kid

Deathchild: oh hazel

Seachild: (x_x) <\---- leo rn

Mcshizzle: (ToT) <\----- percy trying to handle the fact that im better than him

Seachild: nuh uh

Mcshizzle: uh hu

Seachild: nuh uh

Mcshizzle: uh hu

_Seachild removed Mcshizzle from if i die thalia gets my stuff_

Seachild: loser 

Mcshizzle: idiot 

Seachild: wtf

_Mcshizzle removed Seachild from if i die thalia gets my stuff_

_Mcshizzle added Mcshizzle to if i die thalia gets my stuff_

Mcshizzle: we established my abilities to hack like, weeks ago -_-

Mcshizzle: i win

Pinechild: i'm impressed

Mcshizzle: thank you uncle thalia :)

Pinechild: haha

Pinechild: wait

Pinechild: hang on

Pinechild: okay one, yeah fuck gender norms i'm an uncle

Pinechild: two, this is why you don't adopt the whole fucking camp jason

Pinechild: i'm too young to be an uncle

Ourchild: Just get a sibling divorce 

Deathchild: wtf hazel

Ourchild: I'm sending you the papers later Nico

Deathchild: WTF HAZEL

Ourchild: Annabeth told me you painted over the pink door :'(

Deathchild: i'm telling dad you painted it pink in the first place

Ourchild: :P

_Blondchild added Seachild to if i die thalia gets my stuff_

Blondchild: i did nothing bye

Seachild: i don't like you people

Seachild: so rude

Seachild: i don't get a moment of kindness

Pinechild: we love you

Seachild: sure

Pinechild: this is why i don't show affection 

Deathchild: same

Ourchild: You are all petty

Seachild: shut up

Ourchild: Petty

Seachild: i think you mean extremely pretty 

Seachild: i'm a fashion ~i c o n~

Pipe: what has fashion come to

Annie: Eh

Seachild: 'eh' 

Seachild: you all wish you looked as good as me

Frankly: This deteriorated to Percy being Percy

Seachild: sad

Seachild: someone say something then

Annie: You all have actual lives that don't include staring at a screen and ruining your eyes so go live it

Mcshizzle: tempting but i do that everyday

Annie: :I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is really short, sorry. my wifi went out for like and it took a while to fix, then my computer decided to stop working and i hate writing on my phone sooooo yeah. i'll add more but i just wanted to post this now. it's the same old jokes but i promise i'll get a tad more original


End file.
